Why Do You Have Sex?

I just don’t know what to make of this new book, Why Women Have Sex, which claims to reveal the “real” reasons we ladyfolk do the horizontal polka. Authors Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed 1,000 women and found some pretty shocking things. They say that 84 percent of the women surveyed claim to have sex just to “keep the peace.” Some other gems of reasons from the book include: “So he’ll take the trash out”; “To cure a headache”; “To relieve boredom”; “For presents”; and “Out of pity.” Even worse? (Cover your eyes, guys.) The book says, “Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all.”

What the #%&$? Excuse me. Hold on, please! Who were the 1,000 women interviewed for this book? These findings are total malarkey. Men of the world, I find you sexually attractive … I swear. And rest assured that I am not sleeping with you so you will take out my trash! Yes, there are many types of sex. But call me old-fashioned—I have sex (the majority of the time) because it feels f**king amazing and I want to connect with my partner. I am not at all satisfied with these findings, so I’m conducting a little research of my own. After the jump, some other better reasons why women have sex. Ladies out there in Friskyland, please add to the list so I have enough data to write a better book than this one! [News.com]

“Did the people who wrote this book ever have an orgasm? I think that’s explanation enough.”

“I have sex for pleasure about 50 percent of the time. The other 50 percent of the time, I have sex with my boyfriend to make him happy. He’s insatiable. I’m happier with non-intercourse make-out sessions! There have been isolated times in the past when I’ve done it because I was drunk or stoned and it seemed like a fun idea at the time. In high school, I did it because my prom date said he was going to roll over and fall asleep unless I did it with him. Kind of date rape-y, right?”

“I have sex with someone because I’m hot for that someone. There have been times when I’ve done it just because they are hot or I care about them … but otherwise, I’m single and can be as selfish as I want. Only if I am totally into them will I be accommodating their needs, if they aren’t the same as mine.”

“Asking why I have sex is kind of like asking, ‘Why do you eat chocolate?’ ‘Why do you like getting massages?’ ‘Why do you listen to music?’ Because it’s one of the great joys of life.”

“Generally, I have sex because I enjoy it. You know, I’m horny and I want to be with a person who gets me off. But there have been times when I had sex for reasons other than romance and passion — mostly to make my partner happy. In my last relationship, the spark had kind of died, but I still loved him. He had a big appetite for sex and so I would usually have sex with him because I could usually get into it even if I didn’t start out, uh, amorous, and because it would take care of him feeling like I didn’t desire him. Looking back I realize, oh wait, I really DIDN’T desire him. Weird.”

“I’m not seeing anyone right now, except my ex. I mostly have sex because I’m in the mood and haven’t seen him in awhile. Earlier this year I had sex with another ex because he had cooked me dinner a few times and had no idea I was still pining for him. I did it because I thought I owed him. And I wanted to.”