I can think of lots of momentous events I wouldn’t want human pit bull/Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons around for — and inserting a tampon in my coochie for the very first time is one of them. But on “The Tyra Show”‘s first-ever program all about periods, Tyra Banks shared how, at the ripe-old age of 26, Miss Fabulosity coached (bullied?) her on how to insert a tampon. An applicator-less tampon. There’s some mental imagery for you!
But Tyra’s period show wasn’t all about famous women pushing Tampax up their lady flowers: Tyra invited three doctors on the show to explain why Aunt Flo comes to visit. It’s a ghastly state of affairs for sex ed if grown women are learning why they get their periods on “The Tyra Show.” Still, I learned lotsa stuff about my monthlies thanks to Ty-Ty … like, you can still get laid if you go to bed wearing an adult diaper on your heavy flow nights. Proof of THAT above!
We Don’t Actually Lose A Lot of Blood: Most women lose four to 12 teaspoons of period blood the whole cycle. You don’t just leak blood—the lining of your uterus is coming out too. So don’t freak out (like I routinely do) if you see something kinda chunky on your pad! It’s OK if you have blood clots during your period, as long as they’re the size of a dime or smaller. If any blood clots are bigger than a quarter, you should have a chat with your gyno.
You Can Get Pregnant On Your Period: Yup. You can. It’s rare, but it can happen. S**t!
Tyra brought couple Tom and Courtney onstage to talk about period sex—namely, how they’re not having any. Tom, poor boob, is “freaked out” by Courtney’s monthly and says was “traumatized” by a tampon he saw in the toilet that looked like “a murder scene.” They’ve had sex maybe once on Courtney’s period in two and a half years. Jeebus! Just wear a condom , dude. Or put a towel on the bed.
Guys Can Share Your Period Too, Sort Of: You aren’t the only one who behave a little differently when you’re PMSing (or DMS-ing). The pheromones your body gives off when you’re on your period can affect your dude’s hormones too. His face might start breaking out around your period, especially if you live together.
Try Tyra’s Four-Pronged Cramp Attack—Or Pickle Juice: Here’s how Tyra kills her cramps: she pops Ibuprofin, takes a hot bath, plugs in a heating pad to lay on her tummy, and then drinks tea with no caffeine. But one of her gyno guests told Tyra that drinking pickle juice—which is full of vinegar/salt—also eases cramps.
And in the clip below, Tyra makes friends with a woman who’s downright scared of using tampons — and invites her to use one for the very first time behind a screen onstage.
Remember Katie Hopkins, the woman who took great delight in trashing Kelly Clarkson's body on various talk shows after her cruel fat-shaming tweets went viral? This little ray of sunshine has found another hobby since her shtick about Clarkson dried up. This time she's shitting all over Angelina Jolie's attempts to stay alive to watch…