Remote Control: “Melrose Place!” “Glee!” “The Vampire Diaries!” This Week Is A TV Bonanza!

Alright, people. Get your couch cushions fluffed, your pillows prepared, and set a stack of menus by your phone, because you’ll want to call in delivery. This is one of the biggest TV weeks of the year, with oodles of new shows and season premieres of the ones that already have their crafty hooks in us. From “Melrose Place” to “Glee” to “The Vampire Diaries,” here are the shows that have us giddily waiting for prime time.

The Show: “Melrose Place
Set Your DVR For: Tonight, 8 p.m. (EST), The CW
We’ve been a touch disappointed with the CW’s revival of “90210,” but we’re still very willing to give “Melrose Place” a chance. We’re not sure how the same apartment complex still exists, after being blown up in an episode in the ’90s but, hey, we’ll suspend disbelief. Main reasons to watch: Laura Leighton returns to the show as Sydney, as does Dr. Michael Mancini—only this time, Sydney is sleeping with his son. Also, see if Ashlee Simpson’s acting skills have improved since her days on “Seventh Heaven.” From her clips in the trailer, we’re guessing not.

The Show: “America’s Next Top Model
Set Your DVR For: Wednesday, 8 p.m. (EST), The CW
“America’s Next Top Model” is back, and this is the official Season O’ Shorties. All the contestants this cycle are under 5’7. Since Paulina Porzikova was ousted as the supermodel judge and 5’7 happens to be exactly Kate Moss’ height, we’re still holding out hope that she’ll magically happen to be the new judge.

The Show: “Glee
Set Your DVR For: Wednesday, 9 p.m. (EST), Fox
Fox’s sneak peak of “Glee” last May made us, well, gleeful. So we’re pretty pumped for the season premiere tonight. Highlights: Jane Lynch’s amazing one-liners as a disgruntled cheerleading coach and the club sings “Gold Digger.”

The Show: “The Vampire Diaries
Set Your DVR For: Thursday, 8 p.m. (EST), the CW
Another day, another sexy vampire story. But yeah, we’re still gonna watch the CW’s attempt to cash in on the fangtastic forbidden love trend. Also, Nina Dobrev who plays Elena was totally my favorite character on “Degrassi” (well, besides Alex). Remember her as Mia, the teen mom and model who slept her way into her first commercial?

The Show: “MTV Video Music Awards”
Set Your DVR For: Sunday, 9 p.m. (EST), MTV
It’s VMA time. The previews MTV posted a week back hint that it’s gonna be kind of spectacular. Special bonus: a sneak peek at “New Moon.”

The Show: “True Blood
Set Your DVR For: Sunday, 9 p.m. (EST), HBO
Wait—really, are three out of the six shows in this roundup vampire-related? Sorry about that. But as tempting as it may be to head directly to the MTV Music Video Awards on Sunday night, do not forget that at the same time is the season finale of “True Blood.” Luckily, this is what DVRs are made for.