For The Week Of September 7-13, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

All the answers you want about your current love relationship are in how you both deal with your joint finances. Consider money the metaphor for your bond. If this means taking off the rose-colored glasses to see that things will only go so far, in terms of sharing or potential, then you will have to be braver than ever to face the music. Accept that your ideal lifestyle is non-negotiable.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Don’t get too detailed about feelings or plans with your honey or whomever you’re shacking up with these days, because your mind will be wandering erratically from emotion to emotion. There won’t be any accounting for what you truly want right now, as you won’t be able to see cause and effect clearly. Until you can, don’t commit to anything.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The past is coming back to haunt you. What you thought was something you let die will spring back alive and prove to be way more intriguing than you ever thought. Instead of trying to poo poo all the outcomes, let loose the control and just go with it. You have nothing to lose! If it all goes in the crapper anyway, you can then say, “I knew it.”

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Forget your friends. They’ll be aggravating the hell out of you. Sure, they want to be helpful and give you advice, but unless you’re asking for it, they really have no right and that gives you complete clearance to tell them to “Shut the f**k up!” If there are going to be voices in your head, they better be your own. Because when it comes down to it, you will have the right answers.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

All the drama you indulge in, and which brings out your self-sabotaging behaviors, gets a reprieve. Expect an epiphany that’ll start to clear the cobwebs that keep you from seeing your own capabilities. However, realize this won’t put you on easy street right away, as this only marks the beginning of a new journey — but at least this is a voyage in which you know your destination.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You know who the flakes are in your life. Though, you are the only one to blame if you allow them to let you down once again. Enough is enough. Your idealism is only going to get you so far; you are procrastinating on the obvious. Time to accept that maybe you are your own worst enemy and realize that the truth can hurt, but it will hurt less if you stop trying to deny it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you’re a swinging single, be careful whom you hook up with this week. Chances of lasting repercussions that will have you wanting to borax your vagina out the next day are high — as in when the sun comes up, it’ll reveal disturbing annoyances that’ll repulse. Of course, you’re never one to resist dancing with the devil, so at least make sure the protection is steady and strong.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Old issues die hard and that’s why you and your baby will be having a deja vu in terms of tension and arguments. Seems an inherent crack in your relationship’s foundation is not as patched-up as you thought. However, instead of thinking you can change the other person, get real with yourself and make choices on what you can and can’t live with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Love foibles will be making your life more like a comedy every day, but as long as you keep a sense of humor and level head about you, the mishaps will make your romance even that much more memorable — as it’ll be those little flaws that will endear you the most and show you the real character behind your latest catch.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your legendary fickleness will be making its grand appearance, as you won’t be feeling the love as much. The only exception is if you have hooked up with someone from your past. Otherwise, whoever has been in the picture will no longer seem to cut it, as your mind will start wandering down memory lane and have you realizing standards you once had aren’t so easy to forget.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your serious attitude towards relationships will start to ease up and finally you will realize that having fun isn’t such an awful fate. Give a little and you will get a lot. However, give a lot and you will get it all. Just don’t be stuck to your stubborn ways for too long and sit on the fence trying to decide; act and you will receive.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You will hear everything you want to hear, but the problem is that you will have this nagging feeling that you won’t be able to rely on it. What to believe? Honey, always trust yourself. Sycophants will be all around and, if you allow them to, they will ruin your day with their kiss-ass lies. Action is the only currency you can bank on this week, not words.