Levi Johnston’s Vanity Fair Smear Piece Calls Sarah Palin A Crappy Mom & Wife

The Vanity Fair “Me and Mrs. Palin” article by Levi Johnston—which he appears to not have “written” so much as dictated to the editors—is the juiciest, gooeyiest, gossipiest smear I’ve ever sunk my teeth into. Did you know Sarah Palin wanted her and the First Dude to secretly adopt Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, so no one would know her teen daughter had been pregnant?!?! Or that Cindy McCain offered to let Bristol and Levi marry at the White House if McCain won?!?! Allegedly.

But beneath all the gossip that supports the theory that, yes, these chuckleheads and their hunting gear are just as ridic as we’ve always thought they were, Levi (and the Vanity Fair editors who approved his piece) tells another story: Sarah Palin is a bad mother and wife. As much as I dislike the Alaskan ex-governor’s character as a politician, that particular story is not one that’s fair to tell. Of course, Todd Palin probably wouldn’t win a “Dad Of The Year” award, either, according to Levi. But he makes it clear the Palin daughters favor Todd (they’re “daddy’s girls,” he said) over their mom. Really, this smear piece is pretty harsh on the working mom for being a working mom. Levi flat-out says, “Sarah Palin said she’s a hockey mom and a hunter, but that’s not really the case. She pays no attention to her kids when the cameras aren’t around.”

Sure, Levi is shedding light on what is apparently a lot of smoke and mirrors from the McCain/Palin campaign about how perfect and “family values”-oriented the Palin family is. But it’s mostly Sarah’s bad mothering and neglect of wifely duties that are hung out like dirty laundry (that Sarah hasn’t washed). Take, for instance, this tidbit:

“The Palin home was much different from what many people expect of a normal family, even before she was nominated for vice president. There wasn’t much parenting in that house. Sarah doesn’t cook. Todd doesn’t cook—the kids do it all themselves: cook, clean, do the laundry, and get ready for school.”

Aren’t the Palin daughters (the son, Track, is in the military and Trig is a baby) about 18, 15, and 11 years old? Like, old enough to do that stuff?

But wait! There’s more bad mothering coming from Sarah Palin:

“I only saw Sarah help Piper—the youngest before Trig—with homework a few times and I’ve only seen her read a book to her once…The Palins didn’t have dinner together and they didn’t talk much as a family. Throughout the years I spent with them, when Sarah got home from her office—almost never later than five and sometimes as early as noon—she usually walked in the door, said hello, and then disappeared into her bedroom, where she would hang out. Sometimes she’d take an hour-long bath. Other times she sat on the living-room couch in her two-piece pajama set from Wal-mart—she had all the colors—with her hair down, watching house shows and wedding shows on TV. She always wanted things and she wanted other people to get them for her. If she wanted a movie, Bristol and I would go to the video store; if she wanted food, we’d get her something to eat, like a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell. She’d try to bribe everyone to clean the house or give us guilt trips.”

Ew! Why would Levi Johnston know where Sarah Palin buys her pajamas? And sorry, Levi, but hour-long baths or TV shows or asking your teenager with a driver’s license to pick up food or a movie does not Mommy Dearest make.

The Vanity Fair piece just goes off the deep end invading their privacy when it talks about the Palin marriage and their divorce rumors. Levi says Todd and Sarah hardly talked to each other, yet bickered all the time, and didn’t even sleep in the same bed. I mean, TA-CKY:

“In all the time Bristol and I were together, I’ve never seen them sleep in the same bedroom. I don’t know how she got pregnant.

So, not only is Sarah ignoring her poor children, but Levi wants us to believe she and her husband weren’t Nailin’ Palin on the regular. Bad, bad wife, Sarah!

I could go on and on with all the smears Levi throws at his almost-mother-in-law (such as how Palin keeps a tanning bed at her house and how thrilled she was to have the campaign pay for fancy clothes, hair and makeup), but you get the point. Sarah Palin’s not just a slimy politician with questionable ethics, she’s not an ideal woman either. (I’m reminded of a New York magazine article where Emily Nussbaum wrote about how she disliked it when people called Palin a “narcissist” because throughout history people have always found “white lab coat” ways to label difficult women.)

Sorry, Vanity Fair, but I don’t care about the Palins’ sex life. I don’t care who cleans the Palin household or who cooks the meals. I’d be thrilled if she disappeared from national politics. (Can someone just please give her a radio show or a TV show to keep her busy and off our ballot boxes?) But as a woman, an aspiring working mom, and maybe even someone who’d run for office someday, I don’t want this to be the way we get rid of Sarah Palin. [Vanity Fair]