The Girlfriend Keeper: Nothing Says Love Like Automated Texts And Emails To Your Girlfriend

How pissed would you be if the schmoopy text messages your boyfriend sent you every other hour were automated from an iPhone app called the Girlfriend Keeper? Alas, the Girlfriend Keeper is actually a real application and costs only 99 cents at the iTunes store. You should be suspicious if you’re getting charming/creepy texts like, “Your birthday is in 45 days, maybe I’ll get you something blue to match your eyes” or “Did you know we started dating 53 days ago?” (Uh, what guy actually talks like that?)

After the jump, check out some pics of the Girlfriend Keeper app that will seriously depress you regarding the state of modern dating (and datebook-keeping).A database contains thousands of messages which will be randomly generated and sent to the girlfriend based on the “relationship level.” Depending on the girlfriend’s desired level of communication (er, neediness?), texts or emails can go out anywhere from every two hours to every two months. Girlfriend Keeper saves all the sent messages, so the dude can check back and verify what the eff his ladyfriend is talking about when she says she’d just love some aquamarine studs. Jeez, feed this app some steroids and it’s the stalk-your-ex-girlfriend spoof app.

Boys, just remember to turn the Girlfriend Keeper off when you’re actually on a date! Any woman will think something’s fishy if she receives a text about their 24th-day-anniversary at a moment when her guy’s hands are all over her body. [Girlfriend Keeper]