How To Make A Beauty Mark, Just Like Amy Winehouse

How can you erase that weathered look you get from years of drug abuse? Well, Amy Winehouse proves you don’t need rehab, no, no, no! You just need an eye liner and a penchant for playing connect the dots. The cat-eyed, beehived soul singer has added another beauty ritual to her repertoire: fake freckles. She really has a nose for fashion! And she brought all that elegance with her on a trip to the dentist. With those spots, Amy looks just like fresh-faced Shirley Temple. Jealous? Of course you are! But don’t worry girl, after years of letting my gay boyfriend put makeup on me, I’m a pro at poppin’ on beauty marks. So, here are seven tips for how you can look as glamorous as a Grammy winner.

  • Matchy Matchy: Find a liner the same color as your natural moles. You most likely will need a shade of brown. You definitely don’t want a mole darker than your eyebrows or you will look crazytown.
  • Don’t Pick Somewhere Dumb: Sure, you think an original spot for a beauty mark will make it look more authentic, but that’s not the case. Stick to the classics — around the lips and eyes. Those are the places where you want to draw attention to yourself. The apple of your cheek, not so much.
  • Don’t Be Greedy: Amy clearly disagrees with me on this one, but one mark is enough, lady. No need to look like a washed-up grown-up member of “The Little Rascals.” For a sophisticated look, keep the size and number to a minimum.
  • Liquid Vs. Pencil: The key to pulling off the beauty mark is not smudging it. Yes, people will probs know it’s fake, but it’s only lame if it looks like a tiny poop smear or a massive blackhead. So, don’t touch your face or put the mark somewhere you know you get sweaty … which brings me to my next point.
  • Waterproof It: Make sure, whatever kind you do buy, that the liner is waterproof. And if it’s not liquid, make sure the texture is soft. Otherwise, if it’s too hard, you’ll wind up having to drag it too far across your face — not sexy.
  • Thin Line: Sharpen the pencil to the tightest tip. You want a dot not a pockmark.
  • The Technique: Don’t try to draw a circle, you’ll wind up with a hot mess. Simply hold the pencil with the tip directly pointing at your face. Then press it in and roll or twirl the pencil around with your index finger and thumb. That’ll make the perfect, small, dark circle.
  • Voila! You are a sexy beauty-marked bitch, just like the Wino!