Talk about a lip balm that promises to change your life. If you’re craving gooey, cheesy, and fried things, it’s time to reapply Burner Balm, a lip balm that promises to boost your energy and suppress your appetite. The $6.99 balm contains soy oils, caffeine, green tea extracts, and hoodia—which some think is a speedilicious appetite killer, but without a whole lot of proof. The company’s website encourages you to reapply under lipstick up to six times a day, but warns that the caffeine might keep you up at night. Meanwhile, people actually concerned with your health are afraid that the company is exploiting women’s fears about gaining weight. [Metro] Sure, hoodia and green tea have been shown to be effective to curb hunger pangs, but why not grab a cup of tea instead? Seriously, how effective can slathering this stuff on your lips be? Haven’t we realized there isn’t a magic solution yet that will make us skinny? I guess not, because the company has been so successful here that they’re now bringing their wares to Britain. Super, another reason for British people to hate us.
I’m not falling for this scam. I don’t purchase products from people with fake flames on their website or who overuse the word “extreme” in their marketing campaign. Plus: I’m worried it will interfere with my cellulite-reducing sunglasses.