Ask The Astrosexologist: If We Break Up Can We Still Be Friends?
I emailed a few months ago about a lesbian couple — an Aquarius and a Libra. Your advice was to break up with her and I did, after a few months. Then we got back together and broke up again, all because I don’t know if I’m gay or straight. I know this isn’t what you usually do, but my friends suck at giving advice, and I have no one else to talk to.
I love her, I do, but I think it is more of the “I’m comfortable with you, and I care about you a lot,” kind of love — the friend kind. I want her in my life, but I know that if we break up again, she’ll be crushed. She might use the suicide thing against me again and I know I can’t take that. She is completely head over heels for me, and I’m never sure what I feel for her. I don’t get the sparks when we kiss anymore, but I get them when I see a girl and a guy kiss in a movie or what have you. I’m actually 90 percent sure I’m straight, but then there are days that I think I could stay with her forever. I’m about to start college in the fall, and I would really like to know what I’m doing when I get there. – Confused OneDon’t hook back up with the Libra, unless you are 100 percent in love with her and know you are a lesbian. Otherwise, you’re only messing with her mind and that spells only one thing — bad karma! It’s not fair to her or you, but mostly to her, that you would even consider going back under the circumstances. It sounds completely selfish. Plus, you know she is mentally unstable — hello, no sane person pulls out the suicide card — and you said, “I’m 90 percent sure I am straight.”
All this should only add more fuel to the tank and keep you moving away from this girl, as she needs to have space to get back her peace of mind — as do you. Yes, you can work out a way to be friends with her, but not now. There needs to be some breathing room for you and her, to get your bearings back. For you, it’s sorting out definite decisions about your life. For her, she needs healing. As you know, you don’t want to have her in your life in a romantic way — after all, you’re not feeling sparks — but until she can handle it and accept that, you have to be respectful. Break the roles you were accustomed to being in, because unless you both get on that same page, you will only wind up back in the danger zone.
For now, it’s best to go to college without the baggage. If after a semester you keep thinking about her and can do so selflessly, then you might just have a chance at friendship, but only if she’s ready for only that too. But also realize not all bonds are made to last forever, no matter how good intentions may be. It’s possible she might never be able to be just friends. You may not either.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!