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The Most Annoying Facebook Personalities

We think Brandon Griggs pretty much nailed it in this awesome article for CNN about the 12 most annoying types of Facebookers. My personal most-hated Facebooker? The ugly picture poster. (Come on girl, you know full well that I look like Jay Leno in that pic so why did you tag it for all the world to see?) In fact, we think there are way more than 12 annoying Facebook personalities. See if you agree with us. 1. The Lyricist: “How does it feel? To be on your own? Like a complete unknown?” Yeah yeah yeah, you listen to music. That is not unique. If you can’t come up with an original witty status update, please don’t substitute song lyrics for one. I know people who do this. All. Day. Long. For these updates, I give a line from my favorite Erasure song: “I love to hate you.”

2. The Onionator: The Onion is a pretty funny fake newspaper, but the Onionators are Facebookers who constantly link to Onion headlines with the status update: “This made me laugh.” Perhaps this is trying to stress that you, yourself are quite witty and really “get” the Onion. It speaks to you, because you are also sarcastic and snarky! Well, I’ve got news for you. The Onion makes everyone laugh.

3. The Self-Deprecating Bragger: I know someone who is always boasting about their accomplishments via updates, but tries to disguise it in the form of being modest. When I read things like, “I can’t believe a lazy girl like me got up at 5:30 to go to run 10 miles!” or “Seriously, they want a goof like me to be the new team leader?? With a raise to boot?!” I want to barf. Maybe because I never get up and go to the gym or get picked to be team leader.

4. The “Really?” Guy: “Really, Glen Beck? Really?” “Really, Town Hall protesters? A Glock strapped to your leg? REALLY?” Amy Poehler and Seth Myers covered this. It’s old. Stop it.

5. The ‘FAIL’ Guy: See above. “Baskin Robbins out of bubblegum ice cream FAIL.” The only case in which this line is acceptable is if you were talking about an exam on which you did poorly. “Didn’t study for the history pop quiz FAIL.”

6. The Not-Actually-Funny LOL’er: LOL is really getting abused. When I’m actually laughing out loud at something, I now have to write “Literally Lol’ing.” Because some fools use it constantly, even when nothing remotely funny is being said. “Is it sad that I just drank a magnum by myself because I just found out I have Hep-C LOL.” “Does anyone want to go out tonight, I’m bored and lonely LOL.” Sad statements followed by LOL are really sad.

7. The Political News Regurgitator: I know where I stand politically. So stop posting links to “Death Panels and Other Lies About Health Care Reform” articles. First of all, I’ve already seen it 20 times. Secondly, just because you posted it doesn’t make you more politically active or aware than the rest of us and I think that you think it does.

8. The Bride-to-Be: “OMG ten more days!!” “Can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow.” “Gotta make it to the gym again, need awesome arms for wedding dress.” Come on, there are bitter spinsters on this thing! The only post I’d be interested in reading about regarding someone’s upcoming nuptials is this: “Anyone have any advice on what he expects on the wedding night?”

How about you? Who or what drives you crazy?

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