Fashion First: Wearing A Thong Bikini

Amber Rose showed off her impressive rump in a G-string bikini while vacationing with Kanye West in Miami Beach. She pretty much had a piece of orange floss up her butt, which makes me wonder what the front is like. She has quite the cajones to strut around like that, especially when Kanye is fully clothed, but she was a stripper.

Although I don’t have a stripper past, I did find it liberating to wear a thong string bikini while on vacay in the Bahamas. I’d been working at a sex store and fell in love with a white, ruffled bikini that had pink piping along the edges, but the bottom was a thong. I decided to buy it anyway. I didn’t have the courage to wear the bikini until the last day of my trip — I didn’t want to be known for my ass for the entire week of vacation. For the most part, I looked like every other woman going to the beach because I wore a cover-up while I chose a spot on the beach. But when I settled in my lounge chair, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to remove my tunic. With encouragement from my mom (I would never wear a thong bikini unless I had some backup) and the blazing hot sun, I took it off.

The first thing I realized was no one really cared about my exposed butt, except for the man and his 10-year-old son who gawked at me until good ol’ Mom obstructed their view. Not once did I feel anyone leering at me, though. I was content with admiring alone as the payoff of all those hours of exercise. The second revelation was that I could spend a lot more time relaxing when I didn’t have to constantly readjust my bottom since thongs by nature are wedgie givers. Third, the sting bikini will always fit, even if I grow a little wider. Very economical.

My mom has always said that three inches of fabric is all that’s necessary to cover the lady bits. Wearing a thong bikini helped me appreciate that advice. Why be ashamed of my naked body? By the time we were ready to leave the beach, I was confident enough to walk through the hotel without any cover, but I decided to save my mom that embarrassment. I’d totally wear the thong bikini once again, but only in another country or Miami Beach, like Amber. It also helps to have an attitude that makes others think you do this all the time. Oh, and leave the heels in your hotel room, please, because there aren’t poles on the beach.