17 Jobs That Are Guaranteed To Get You Laid

Last week, we whined that, in addition to these 14 Jobs That Won’t Help You Get Laid, being a sex/relationship blogger totally wrecks your chance at romance. We Frisky gals don’t have an exact statistic because the CDC won’t take our emails seriously, but we know from experience that the fear of being exposed on the internet kills thousands of boners each year. But just because we’re suffering here in the world wide web of singledom does not mean some professionals aren’t baggin’ more hot buns than Wonderbread. So, before you go choosing a career that might force you to become an expert masturbator, check out these 17 jobs that are guaranteed to get your business handled for you on the regs.

  • Architect: Build me something as good-looking as you.
  • Glassblower: Really any job with blow in the title will do.
  • Firefighter: Drool over their calendars with us.
  • Doctor: Everyone wants some sexual healing … especially if you’re a freelance blogger without health insurance.
  • Celebrity: Pick a groupie, any groupie.
  • Librarian: But you only stack up if you’re hot.
  • High-Ranking Soldier: Lookin’ so fine in that tight, fancy uniform, I mos def want you to invade the country in my pants.
  • Porn Star: Your job is to get laid.
  • Model (Preferably Underwear Or Bikini): You’re a professional hottie who can make us buy whatever you’re selling.
  • Hotel Concierge: You’ve got the keys to everybody’s room/heart.
  • Photographer: You can compliment and direct your subject til they take off their all clothes. Yes, yes, make love to the camera!
  • Bartender: You’re surrounded by drunk singles looking to mingle.
  • Musician/DJ: You can play peeps like you do tunes.
  • Personal Trainer: Let’s get physical.
  • Delivery Boy: Or girl, they come to you. This sadly does not apply to stanky messengers who run around all day.
  • Pilot/Flight Attendant: That jaunty cap, the mile-high club, man, there are just so many reasons we want to fly the extra-friendly skies.
  • Furniture Craftsman: They’ll give you more than one thing to sit on.