Should You Tell Your Significant Other How Many People You’ve Slept With?
A woman wrote to Rowan Pelling, the resident sex advice columnist for the Daily Mail, with a question I bet many of us have had at one point or another. She writes:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months, we’re both 34 and I am fairly sure he’s The One. The other night we ended up having a conversation about how many lovers we’d had. He told me he had slept with eight women and suddenly I felt nervous about confessing the truth – I had a lot of flings at university and in my first job at an ad agency, so my tally is closer to 40. But I found myself saying ten and even then he looked horrified. I hate being untruthful with him, but don’t want to be judged either. What should I do?
So, what do you think? Is honesty always the best policy? If the woman has been tested for STDs, etc. and shared the results with her boyfriend, is it even his business what her sex life was like before he started a relationship with her? Or should couples be completely honest with each other about their sexual histories?
Check out Pelling’s advice after the jump. Pelling prefaces her advice with this jewel: “If this man is so censorious and delicate that he crumples when faced with a 34-year-old unmarried career woman who confesses to ten lovers, then he’d better take the Tardis back to 1900.” She says that there’s no “right number” and it completely depends on whom you’re talking to. “For some people,” Pellings says, “anything more than one lifelong soul mate is indecent, for others anything short of 50 shows a woeful lack of libido and romantic curiosity.” Should this woman confess to her boyfriend that her number is far closer to the latter? Pelling says: “The answer to that is almost certainly yes. Honesty and trust are at the cornerstone of most relationships, and if you start dissembling now, you are setting a bad precedent.” What do you guys think? Do you agree with Pelling? [via Daily Mail]