Yesterday I enjoyed three of the things I missed the most while I was in Costa Rica (to be honest, the list isn’t much longer than that) — my dog Lucca, a big ol’ breakfast burrito from my favorite brunch joint, and “True Blood.” I caught up on last week’s episode first (Annika did a killer recap), which should have been called “Hoytsica & The Never-Ending Hymen.” Jessica is eternally a virgin! How awesomely strange is that?! Last night’s episode was just as thrilling — Hoyt continued to prove that he’s the most evolved man in all of Bon Temps, Mary Ann continued to spread her black-eyed craziness in her hunt for Sam, Jason “Action” Stackhouse kicked Preacher Steve’s ass, and Lafayette proved that gay men in eyeliner aren’t to be f**ked with. Sookie continued to be a pain in the ass (though she had one good line, telling Jason to use his brain instead of “letting it take up space in your skull”), Bill was a little less wimpy than usual, and Erik continued to dominate, tricking Sookie into drinking his blood, resulting in her having sexual fantasies about him.
You wouldn’t expect it, but “True Blood” has become a bit of a tearjerker. When Godric decided that his vampire existence must come to an end and stood in the sun, evaporating into a burning vortex with the help of totally ’80s special effects, I welled up. I didn’t, however, blubber as much as Erik, whose mourning for his maker was positively heartbreaking. It’s a good thing we got to see his naked vampire viking ass in the flesh, because otherwise, he might have lost some manly points for that display. Clip above!