Six Ways To Make Every Fight A Fair One

Let’s face it—fighting is one of the most terrible parts of a relationship. Nobody likes arguing with someone she cares about. Conflict resolution, however, is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and unfortunately the two things often go hand in hand. Disagreements are normal, whether they’re with a romantic partner, a friend, a work acquaintance, or a family member. The key to keeping all your relationships happy and well adjusted isn’t having fewer fights, it’s treating those you do have as small, manageable battles, not an all-out war. 1. Fight About One Thing at a Time—And Know What It Is
Sometimes in the heat of an argument, it’s easy to bring up every single time you’ve ever felt slighted, insulted, hurt, or angry, but bringing up unrelated issues can feel like a game of “Gotcha!” to your partner. Psychologists call it the “kitchen sink” effect, because it’s like you’re throwing in every single complaint you have. If you’re arguing about money, leave housework out of the picture, and definitely don’t bring up old arguments or reopen old wounds. If you stick to the point, it’s easier to get a resolution without getting out of control. A fight about one specific issue is manageable, but when an argument starts including past hurts or small, niggling complaints, it can feel overwhelming. Read more

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