Trailer Park: “District 9,” “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” “The Goods,” “Ponyo”
Hope you’re caught up on your summer movies by now because there’s a slew of them coming out this weekend, and they are all very different. If you’re feeling romantic, check out “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” If you’re in a cartoony mood, get psyched for “Ponyo.” If you’re feeling discriminatory towards aliens, watch “District 9.” And if you want a laugh and a new crush, get a ticket for “The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard.”
The Movie: “District 9″
The Trailer: Based on director Neill Blomkamp’s short film, “Alive in Joburg,” “District 9″ is producer Peter Jackson’s (“Lord of the Rings”) newest creation. The movie is shot like a documentary and follows extraterrestrials with super-sophisticated weapons and technology who appear in Johannesburg in the ’80s. The South African government puts the beings in a township that’s isolated from everyone else. Natives be hating. Stuff goes down.
The Hitch: Entertainment Weekly almost never gives movies an “A” rating. Somehow, the aliens are almost cute. Plus, there’s the undercurrent theme of apartheid, so, yeah, I’m gonna go see it.
The Movie: “The Time Traveler’s Wife”
The Trailer: Based on Audrey Niffenegger’s best-seller, this is the story of a dude (Eric Bana) who jumps back and forth through time periods and the woman (Rachel McAdams) who loves him despite the problems caused by his disappearances and her constant longing.
The Hitch: Holy tearjerker. As epic as “The Notebook” and as heart-breaking as “Ghost.” (It was, after all, penned by the same screenwriter). Even though it’s really hard to see Rachel McAdams with anyone but Ryan Gosling, it appears that she has good chemistry with Bana.
The Movie: “The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard”
The Trailer: Jeremy Piven stars as Don Ready, a “slasher” used car salesman who travels from dealership to dealership with his team, helping struggling dealerships unload their inventory fast. Piven says of his character, “Don’s got the Peter Pan syndrome in a major way. He’s been on the road eating breakfast in strip clubs, thinking he’s absolutely living the dream, and crushing everything in his wake.” Using the sleaziest and most hilarious methods imaginable, the crew gets it done.
The Hitch: I don’t know what it is, but Jeremy Piven has never been hotter than he is in this movie. I don’t know if it’s the cockiness or the polyester, but, damn! Adam McKay did “Talladega Nights” and “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy,” but I’m hoping this movie is more of the latter and less of the former.
The Movie: “Ponyo”
The Trailer: “Ponyo” is the story of a goldfish who ditches the magical world of water to become a girl. Very loosely based on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid, Ponyo (voiced by Noah Cyrus, Miley’s little sister) is a rambunctious little fish girl who spews water at people and adores the boy, Sosuke (voiced by Frankie Jonas), who found her on his shore. Her wizard dad (voiced by Liam Neeson) tries to get her back to the ocean, but in trying to return to her love, Ponyo unleashes the sea’s powers, which threaten to destroy Sosuke’s village.
The Hitch: Hayao Miyazaki is possibly the best animated storyteller of our time. From “My Neighbor Totoro” to “Spirited Away” to “Howl’s Moving Castle,” Hayao produces unique characters who do adorable things. Disney is trying hard to make Miyazaki popular in America—that’s why they had Miley Cyrus’ little sister and the youngest Jonas brother voice the main roles. Also lending their chords are Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, and Tina Fey! This will be amazing. Promise.