YouTube Love: GlowPinkStah Makeup Tutorials

Meet YouTube star GlowPinkStah (whose real name is Gloria). The success of genuine video makeup lessons like those made by Michelle Phan has spawned a whole category of spoofs, but Gloria’s video makeup tutorials beat them all. And by “makeup tutorials” we mean she puts crazy-ass stuff all over her face, and manages to be hilarious and educational at the same time. In the video above, she guides us through the Japanese “Ganguro” look, starting with a dark foundation. “You want to make sure it gets all over your face so you don’t look stupid,” she says. Then comes huge white panda eyes and white lipstick. “I understand why they use the white … it gives you a sense of purity, like I feel like I’ve never had a penis stuck up my va-jay before.”

Where has this genius been all our lives? After the jump check out some other looks by GlowPinkStah including instructions for how to do “whore” and “emo goth” looks. Be sure to check out Gloria’s channel to get the lowdown (possibly the craziest video she has there) on the “chola” look. Seriously, don’t miss that one. [GlowPinkStah on YouTube]

In this “goth” makeup tutorial video, we learn how to do raccoon eyes (to show the world your pain). Highlights:

  • “My name is Emma, but that’s my slave name so you guys can all me … Lucifer.”
  • “These people are my heroes: Crow, Victor from “The Underworld” and the gothic girl in “Superstar.”
  • “The eyeshadow I’m going to use is called BLACK DARKNESS.”

In this “whore” tutorial, Gloria puts on c-c-c-crazy blue eyeshadow and shares here makeup tips from her “prostitute friends.” Highlights:

  • “Smudge the Shark Skin up [eyeshadow color] and go ahead and leave those smudges there…it looks like you’re cheap.”
  • “The other day I was walking downtown, and I saw all these hookers, so I asked one of them, ‘What’s your trick?’ And she was like, ‘Wear blue eyeshadow. Blue eyeshadow will get you laid 3-4 times an hour.’ I said, ‘That’s amazing!'”
  • “This is good for the clubs, you know, because guys like it when they can’t see your face.”