No Boyfriend To Cuddle With? Meet The Blob

Gee, being single is just so tough. Because, you know, when unattached women get into bed, they feel sad and cold because there’s no boyfriend to spoon them. So naturally, the next best thing is this Blob Heater, a personal heating system, “meant for a broken-hearted [!?] who craves for the body warmth of a partner.” Shucks, why’d no one think of this before? Because what lady wouldn’t want to cuddle up with a gigantic sperm-shaped piece of furniture? As an added bonus, you’ll receive free dreams about pregnancy and alien sex. []