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Woman Jumps In Front Of Train, Search For Body Ends In Her Bed

French police were hurriedly searching for the body of a 58-year-old woman who threw herself in front of a train on Tuesday, assuming the 93 miles-per-hour impact would have sent her body flying. There was only a little blood on the platform and on the train itself, so the police brought in helicopters to help in the search. Hours and hours later, they stopped searching when the woman’s partner found her at home in bed. Apparently, the woman dragged herself home with only a broken arm and a few other injuries. Sadly, this wasn’t the woman’s first suicide attempt either. [Reuters]

Um, the woman survived a train going nearly 100 miles an hour? Maybe she’s experiencing some sort of “Groundhog Day” thing and every time she tries to kill herself, she wakes up in bed to “I’ve Got You Babe” and curses her existence?

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