I just got stood up. It’s sad, but true. Worst of all, it was finally the sex date. Double burn. I don’t know why this last dude left me waiting. My guess is he was either called back into spy service by the FBI or mauled by a tiger. Fingers crossed it was the latter. Just kidding. Sort of. But couldn’t he at least have had the balls to dump me, instead of just leaving me hanging? Sigh.
Unfortunately, for some reason, I get stood up a lot. I’m kind of a pro at it by now. It all started back in high school when my date ditched me the night of my senior prom. And a couple years ago, I spent a Valentine’s Day alone on my sofa in a new red dress crying to Ben & Jerry. (Although that did inspire me to make this music mix, “You Can’t F*#& The Hole In My Heart.”) So, as you can see, I’m an expert with what you should do with the night you had saved for a man who doesn’t show up to share it. Here are some options and outcomes in a handy-dandy flowchart. (CLICK HERE to see it on a larger scale.) Notice, I don’t recommend bitching him out. I’m classy like that. And you obvi have better things to do too, girl!