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“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” Recap: “I Eat Bitches Like You Everyday!”

There were some highs and some lows on the season premiere of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” last night. The absolute best part was the neck-rolling, arm-swinging catfight, altercation, ruckus, or whatever you want to call it between Sheree and her party planner, Anthony. You see, Sheree had the not-so unique idea to throw an “independence party” since her ex-husband got her home foreclosed, and she finally has to stand on her own two feet. Basically, she wanted Atlanta’s elite to fawn over her once again and realize that she might have a smaller house, but she’s still “fabulous.” Watching the clip above without any context made me think Sheree was at fault for how things went down with Anthony. But really he was the problem. He wanted to out-diva Sheree and bring a little attention to his business, but I suspect that his name is mud in Atlanta right now. What “top-level executive” loses their cool with a client on national TV? (Bravo is probably working out the deal to give Anthony a “Flippin’ Out”-type reality show right now.)

Anyway, there were some heartwarming moments…sort of. NeNe and Sheree finally discussed their differences from last season. I got the impression NeNe was embarrassed about how she came across last season and has made an effort to be classier. She and Sheree have buried the hatchet, with Sheree actually admitting that she appreciated NeNe for supporting her during the divorce.

The feud between these two has been quashed for now, but a big brawl is brewing between Kim and all the other women, with the exception of Kandi. Kim has been talking smack about everyone. She said Lisa is a crackwhore, NeNe’s husband Greg is broke, Sheree’s a bitch, yada, yada, yada. Lisa is ready to war with Kim, who continues to avoid confrontation. Lisa and NeNe went to a party for Niecy Nash’s birthday together. Kim snubbed them when they were on the red carpet. Lisa tried to make a big deal about it and get the gossip started about Kim, but NeNe remained neutral, saying she and Kim were busy while on the red carpet, so it was fine they didn’t speak.

The biggest tragedy of the episode was Kandi’s hair. She has replaced Kim as the worst-coiffed housewife because she has confused Kate Gosselin hair. The bang is straight and curled under, but every other tendril has a tight curl. Kandi’s head kind of looks like puffy fingerwaves or pin-curls. I’m not sure I like her yet, but kudos to her for being willing to marry a man with SIX kids. I love how her own daughter, Riley, refuses to acknowledge that she’s going to have six step-siblings, instead preferring to call them her “friends.”

Now back to Lisa. The Oakland Raiders released her husband Ed from his contract, so he’s virtually unemployed. Well, that wasn’t nice of me. The couple still has their last name, which they’ve lent to a couple business ventures — real estate firm Hartwell & Associates and Hart 2 Hart Baby — to fall back on. But just like a true househusband, Ed is ready to make another baby. Lisa’s aging body, however, might not cooperate.

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