“My ex and I have been broken up for nearly a month, but I continue to have reoccurring dreams about him. In all of them he is trying to murder me. I’ve lost track of the number I’ve had, but they all involve him, a knife, and me waking up in complete terror. The first one actually occurred shortly before we broke up after he had informed me that he no longer knew if he was in love in me. In all of them he has made a point of laughing each time he stabs me. It’s reaching the point where I’m trying to avoid sleeping just because I don’t want to wake up screaming. Can you tell me what’s causing these and if I can expect them to stop soon? – Sleep DeprivedI am so sorry that you are having this experience. Assuming that your ex is not a murderer in real life (I certainly hope not!), we both know that you have nothing to fear except dealing with this breakup. And I suspect that facing it is not an easy thing for you. Often our dreams, which occur in our unconscious mind, act as a counter-balance to our conscious mind. The fact that your ex is invading your dreams seems to indicate that you are not really dealing with or acknowledging the pain of this breakup in your waking life.
I get the impression that this breakup was both painful and shocking to you. It is extremely devastating to hear that someone you love may not feel the same way about you. And here’s where the symbol of murder comes in – you’re afraid it’s going to “kill” your heart. Murder is the only image violent enough to demonstrate how heartbroken you feel. Since your ex is always laughing in the dream, I think you are either concerned that it is not affecting him in the same way, that he is not taking it as hard as you are, or that he is getting some kind of sick pleasure out of hurting you. Hence the laughter. I would just let that thought go. I’m sure he is as upset as you are and if he’s not, then eff him. People have different ways of expressing emotion and dealing with painful situations and your ex’s may be totally different than yours.
The knife is the ultimate phallic, male symbol – so I’m not surprised that it’s showing up in your dreams around a male that was significant in your life. It also lets me know that sexuality either between the two of you or what you discovered within yourself was an important part of this relationship. The knife can also represent “the sword of truth” cutting through your illusions and false beliefs either about your ex or about love in general. I would guess that this relationship was very significant in your life and this breakup may change your perspective on love in the future. While cutting through these false ideas may be painful, it will be crucial for your growth and future happiness.
But the good news is that he never actually kills you in your dreams. You are strong enough to handle this even though you may not believe it. The choice is up to you. Are you going to let him keep haunting you every night or are you going to face the fact that this relationship is over and move on with your life? Will you let the pain cripple you with fear or will you grow from the experience?
A word of advice Sleep Deprived: Be strong. Once you decide to deal with the pain, mourn the loss of the relationship, and move on, I doubt you’ll be seeing your ex at night anymore and you’ll be able to make room in your life for the REAL man of your dreams.
Have you had any crazy dreams lately? Dying to know what their hidden meaning is? No need to rush to your therapist’s office, The Dreamweaver is here to help. Email me your funniest, weirdest, wildest, and wackiest dreams and I’ll tell you what’s going on.