We told you about his womanizing at the Royal Ascot Horse Race, but now Simon Cowell has even gone and outdone himself. The American Idol judge invited seventeen of his ex-girlfriends to his 50th birthday shindig this weekend. What a moob, er, I mean, boob! You know he just wants his ex-gfs to fight over who gets to do him on his birthday. Or maybe he’ll make America vote them off one by one? Lame.
Seriously, what kind of celebration is that? Sure, it’s one thing if you cross paths to say hello and be cordial to someone you dated. But it’s quite another to rub them all in each other’s faces.
I, for one, have gone to extreme lengths to avoid my ex-man. Heck, I’ve literally turned into a ninja to avoid bumping into him since my gyno is around the corner from where he works. Can you imagine seeing him then? “So what are you up to?” “Oh you know, just getting my pap smapped cause I screwed some random dirty stranger.” Ugh. So, to avoid this scenario, I transfer subway trains two times and then I schlep an extra ten blocks just to not have to walk past his work or get off at his stop. Plus I always schedule my appointments in the morning, when he’s guaranteed to be at his desk. Whew! Hey, it’s rare to find a female oby/gyny willing to take on new patients, especially if she’s a slut like me. But that’s not all I’ve done for him, I’ve also avoided my favorite 90s band’s reunion tour and changed my fav bar all in an attempt to stay out of his way. Sigh, the things we do for love have got nothing on the sacrifices we make to avoid those we used to love! Wouldn’t you agree?
What kinda crazy stuff have you done to avoid an ex? Fill me in in the comments!