Study Aims To Get To The Bottom Of Lesbian Drinking Habits

The University of Illinois College of Nursing just got $3 million from the federal government to set the record straight about gayelles and alcoholism. “Myths and stereotypes of lesbians as alcoholics and heavy drinkers are largely based on studies conducted in the 1970s that recruited most of their samples from gay bars,” Prof. Tonda Hughes said. Apparently, lesbians have been getting a bad rap for being big boozers. Huh, that’s funny, last time we checked our old MySpace account, it seemed like the reverse: drunkenness leads to lesbianism … well, at least in photo ops. But Hughes thinks the real drinking problem has nothing to do with being gay, but is encouraged by the usual social factors that also affect heterosexuals like sexual abuse and discrimination. So, especially now, with the rash of wasted faux-lesbo co-eds mugging for cameras, this study is hopefully going to scientifically call bulls**t on the lush label for the whole lesbian community. Back in 1999, Hughes interviewed nearly 400 young lesbians about their happy hour habits. Since, she’s been following up with them to check in on their cruisin’ and boozin’. Now, as she preps to start the third round of her study, she has hit the jackpot! With a few extra million dollars, Prof. Hughes plans to draw another 150 gals who are either Latino or African-American to investigate the trend in gay minorities. “Our research is designed to provide a much more realistic picture of the patterns and variability of lesbians’ drinking,” Hughes promises. No matter the results, it’s a good thing someone out there is trying to prove that stereotypes are bringing everyone down. [WBBM]