In Bed With … Levi Johnston
Born: May 3, 1990 in Wasilla, Alaska
Sun Sign: Taurus
OK, so he comes off like a hillbilly with a loose canon for a penis, but deep down Levi isn’t your average redneck — he’s a hooker with a heart of gold. Sure, it’ll take time to smooth out his kinks, as he’s barely legal, but with age, he will be more in touch with how to express his feelings. He’s got the looks, but he also has deep emotions that are compassionate and even possibly poetic. Of course, this is all hidden behind his meatheadness and it will take many years and a lot of effort to get him to break from his mannish pursuits and reveal a deeper side. Still, he does have the capability to be a true romantic and caretaker of those he truly loves. Sure, he’s not the most gifted with depth, but his loyalty and willingness to serve more than makes up for his shortcomings and, in the end, he might be reckless when it comes to controlling his passions, but at least he’ll have them and truly believe in them — no matter how short-sighted they may be.
Being born and brought up in his state’s meth capital is quite ironic, because the deluge of Pisces going on in his chart, mixed with earthy Virgo and Taurus, makes Levi’s sexual prowess much like freebasing in the sack, giving off a significant high. On one hand, he will use plain ol’ small town goodness to his advantage, as that wholesome thing he can exude is the perfect aid for his target practice with the ladies. However, once he gets his woman into position, he can prove to be a most delicate and giving lover, lasting as long as you need him and doing whatever you wish. Most likely, he has superb talents with his oral skills and has a psychic ability to know just what you want, how fast you want it and at what drive you can take it. No, he won’t be the best at communicating his needs and he won’t be so fast on the uptake with anything using words; however, when it comes to body language in the boudoir, chances are that somehow Levi has got the understanding of Einstein.
When it comes to wrangling this bad boy down, it’s going to take a woman with heat. Being that Levi isn’t the most assertive type, he needs a lady that can push him and help focus him, gently, but forcefully. Otherwise, he can go on and on following his whims without ever reaching a solid destination. However, this lady will have to know how to straddle the line of wielding power, but while also showing some compassion and vulnerability; Levi could have a tendency to be too reliant on the women he dates and can play victim at will if she comes on too strong. If he goes there, he goes all the way and will wallow in routine and subordination. The one obvious way to circumvent this from happening is if his dream lady is artistic. The artistic lady can help bring out his delicate side and allow for a solid platform on which they both can let their imaginations create a happy land — where their feelings can run free and they can indulge in all their simple pleasures. This is the life best-suited for Mr. Johnston.
Astrosexologist Kiki T. is author of the ultimate astral guide to woo, coo, do and even shoo any man in the universe, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook” and The Frisky’s Astrosexologist Extraordinaire. Check out her FriskyScopes and her advice column, Ask The Astrosexologist, every Monday. Plus, to keep up with astro updates as they happen, follow Kiki on Twitter!