This week, I got a letter from a lady who is wondering if she can let her date play Moses and part the Red Sea.
“I have recently been flirting with an old hookup and we have both been hinting at wanting to rekindle the affair. We live in different cities, and he is coming to visit this weekend and I have a suspicion that we’ll be having sex. Unfortunately, my period is due to come on Friday! How do I go about having sex during my period without getting everything messy and/or grossing both of us out? I read that you can have sex while wearing the Instead Cup, so I’m totally on that one and hope it works!” — Fantastic Timing
Isn’t this always the case? — The minute you’re about to get some, Aunt Flo tries to rain on your parade! But seriously, don’t let her get in your way of gettin’ some play, especially if you’ve been waiting this long.
First of all, I’ve never seen a man turn down sex. A dude would rather surf the crimson wave with you than boogie his own board solo. Sure, day one on the rag is the messiest, but sex is dirty and gross, no matter what time of the month it is. But a gal always wants to look her best! So, here’s how you can handle your hoo-ha so he doesn’t feel like a temporary tampon.
- Cuppin’ It Up: Yeah, the company says that their period-catching cups are sexy-time safe. It’s not that I doubt their claims, it’s just that I’ve heard too many ER stories with people getting things stuck up there. While the vagina can push out things, like children, and you would most likely survive unscathed, it seems like an unnecessary risk to put a piece of plastic in the way of his pumping penis. How deep is that thing gonna have to go?! So, I vote no on the cup. Even if it works, fishing it out is gonna be a bitch. But I’d love to hear an actual report, so if you do try it, check back in!
- Honesty Is The Best Policy: Let him know what he’s getting into. Go out, make romance, get started on the sexy, but before you hook up let him know. Don’t just make blood sausage without telling him. If he’s so freaked out by your vagina doin’ its thing, he’s probably a prissy-sissy lay anyways. And who wants that?!
- Shower Your Lady Flower: Don’t stain your sheets, take ‘em naked in the shower. This is my MO, girl. I hop in first, rinse off, get wet and invite him in. The water isn’t the only thing that can get hot! Of course, bathroom lighting can be the harshest, so spark up some candles, put on some jams, and get down and dirty in the place you get clean. No muss, no fuss! Plus it’ll feel like your doin’ it in a waterfall!
- Get Off: Just because you’re bleedin’ doesn’t mean you can’t get what you came for, pun intended. Your clit is even out of the way. Just like any other sexy time, make sure you get yours!
- Makin’ Babies: Unfortunately, you can totally get preggers during your period. Ugh, completely unfair, I know! But you should always use a condom to protect yourself from STDs anyway. So, use a glove when you’re making sweet love, no matter when.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!