Not sure if you want to spend $3.99 on this month’s Vogue? Don’t worry, we’ve got Leonora Epstein, The Frisky contributor and former lady mag slave, here to tell you exactly what’s up on the sex, love, and relationship fronts with this month’s crop of lady mags.
Even though editors finished their July issues months ago, this month feels like the lady mags are already enjoying their Summer Fridays by stickin’ with the usual tricks. This month features recession fashion (again) and a few celebs you haven’t thought about too much in the past year. Still, July and August are the months magazines were made for, so would you really want anything too serious?
This month’s Marie Claire featuring Fergie on the cover is filled with tons of fall fashion content, including one of those timelessly reused mag hooks: “Accessories A-Z.” There are fun pictures to look at, notably some interesting inspirations for cheaper versions of designer clothes (the good work of Nina Garcia, I assume). I have to shave off major points, however, because of a Grace Sun blazer I absolutely fell in love with and is nowhere to be found online. Fact-check, much? In the Love/Sex section, a woman questions her sexuality in “I’m Here. Am I Queer?” She turns out to be straight. Yawn. A big feature includes a ranking of the best U.S. cities to find guys. #1 is Seattle?
Wow, a kind of non-generic celeb is on the cover: Katy Perry. What do we learn? Not too much, but apparently she has some relationship issues. Join the club, my friend. “What His #1 Sex Style Reveals” showcases the regular Cosmo trick: take an article you’ve read four times this year and add a new number in front. In a slightly awesome move, however, a too-short profile on rad actors Zack Morris and Christina Hendricks. As for sex … learn how to turn your guy into an “orgasm whisperer.” Creepy!
Hayden Panettiere graces the cover of Lucky this month. Inside she shares her style obsessions, one of which is Moroccan Oil (have you been reading The Frisky, my dear?), and another is her LG Xenon (transparent product placement). Later on, a “Denim Guide,” which is just ghastly. I’m sorry, but studded boyfriend jeans are a must?
Interesting scientific tidbits in the front of the book tell you about getting closer to male birth control (hurrah!), why you should eat flax, and why you should not necessarily decrease your carb intake (because of memory loss … scary!). Mandy Moore gives an eh interview, but makes up for it, surprisingly in a “Why Be Happy Now” article (which I usually hate, but not this time) filled with more practical info about Sprinkles cupcakes going national and European vacations being within reach because the dollar is getting stronger abroad. (Hmm … that is a good point. Vacay, anyone?)
Any magazine with Zooey Deschanel (one of our top ten girl crushes) merits a purchase. Plus the cover line, “#1 Superfood: It Revs Up Your Metabolism” sucked me in. (I know…) Whoa, turns out it’s coffee?! This is awesome news for my fellow caffeine addicts. Although, uh, why have I not lost weight when I’m hooked up to a Java IV as it is? As for Zooey’s article, she gives you a list of her favorite things to do in summer. Best guess is that her publicist wrote it, but I kind of don’t care.
Katherine Heigl makes the cover, but we skipped straight ahead to page 53: “Debbie Harry Style.” Yessss. Editors are also telling you that the new LBD is a “little bright dress.” We’re almost buying it thanks to super cute pics of Audrey Tautou and Sienna Miller. Your favorite man crush, Josh Duhamel, contributes a few hot pages, but the rest of the issue falls flat with some rehashed fashion stories.