Bernie Madoff’s Hilarious Prison Personal Ad
Bernie Madoff was on top, but now he’s on the bottom, in more ways than one, claims a letter from HotPrisonPals.com. The website basically works like Craigslist for bad boys behind bars who are looking for love and, uh, pornographic letters. The inmates type up a little bit about themselves in the hopes that someone will flirt back. Here’s what Bernie’s post — which has to be fake — says…
“I have baby blue-eyes, and a full head of hair. How many people in their 70’s have that still? I also have a full set of teeth (well, so far). My cell-mate said he prefers his roommate without teeth for when he feels in the mood… The prison has some nice perks. I heard someone down the hallway runs a holistic health cleansing spa, and I’ve been invited for a free ‘first visit.’ I heard things like that are great for the colon. I can’t wait to try it out. It’s nice to see the poor people starting small businesses.”
Yikes! Forget BJs, it sounds like he’s one in the clink, headed for two in the stink, if you know what we mean. Maybe we should send Bernie our Seven Ways To Get Out Of Anal?
Here’s your chance to stick it to him: although the letter is hilariously fake, it seems the prison number and address that are listed are real! Hey Bernie, somethin’ tells us, you’re about to get some junk mail… [WOW]