Back in March, the State of New Jersey actually tried to ban Brazilian waxes after two women got infections from unsanitary salons. In neighboring New York City, one woman was even hospitalized for 15 days after she got a bad infection from going bald at a dirty spa. The poor gal almost lost her leg from cellulitis. But in the face of those cases, an industry that thrives on hairy situations wasn’t just going to hide in the bush! As we ladies know, all salons aren’t created equal, some are just nasty. That’s no reason to penalize the clean peeps who are fighting the good fight against body hair, especially during bikini season. So, luckily for those visiting the Jersey shore beaches this summer, the ban did not stand! Or as spa proprietress, Linda Orsuto, said: “The government has been picking our pockets for so long, it was like: ‘Just stay out of our pants, will you?’” Ha! Well, it’s good to have a sense of humor about the man trying to keep you down, but when it comes to our downtown, you gotta be smart. Here’s what you need to know if you’re going to get a bikini wax.
- Health Inspection: Just like you would get the low down on a dude before you’d show him your hoo-ha, check the salon out before you let them touch a hair. While you’re there, look to see that they’re certified by the Board of Cosmotology to wax your strip. Yes, there is an actual license for getting your vag hair done. Another good way to pick a place is to ask a friend (whose pubes you admire, natch) for a recommendation. The salon business works on referrals, so don’t be shy!
- Love Glove: In my germ-a-phobic opinion, make sure the waxer is wearing latex gloves because the only bare hands that should get near your vagina are ones you’re not paying for. Although, if they don’t have gloves at the salon, a close second in cleanliness is making sure the waxer washed her hands right before, like a doctor.
- Give A Sheet: Especially when you’re going bottomless, you wanna sit your booty on something clean. So, while you might worry about being unnecessarily wasteful, if that white paper is crinkly, ask for a fresh piece. You can go hug a tree later if you’re still feeling guilty.
- Stick It In: Every time the technician applies a new amount of wax, it requires a new stick. If wax is cool enough to be put on your skin, it is not hot enough to kill germs. If you see the waxer double dip, say something. Although this doctor says your chances of actually contracting an STD are seriously low, you do have to worry about bacterial infections, like the lady who got cellulitis. Complications are rare, but it’s better to be safe, than sorry.
- Alcohol Problem” Couldn’t see if she was re-dippin’ that stick? Bleeding a bit? Just got the overall icks from the experience? Don’t freak out. When in doubt, ask the waxer for a cotton ball with alcohol. Simply wipe it around the outside skin, not inside or between, if you know what I mean. That’ll make sure if there is anything to disinfect, you got it!
- Day Care: Dermatologist Dr. Bruce Robinson at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City recommends applying a topical 1% hydrocortisone cream to your lady bits for a couple days after your wax. Not only does this help prevent ingrown hairs, but it will also kill rogue bacteria. Again, remember, this isn’t meant to be rubbed on your vagina, just the outside skin area.
- Check It Out: The cellulitis story has a happy ending because the woman noticed the unusual redness and swelling. Five days worth of that BS and she went to see her doctor. Good thinkin’! So, just keep an eye on your cooch post-wax and you’ll be a-OK.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!