Star Couplings: Robert Redford Is Off The Market

  • Robert Redford married Sibylle Szaggars in Germany over the weekend. [Dlisted] — This gives me hope. If he can find love at age 71, I should eventually fall in love again.
  • Vanessa Hudgens says she too busy to think about marrying Zac Efron. [Starpulse] — Yeah, playing a nude hooker is very time consuming.
  • Tony Romo spent what was supposed to be Jessica Simpson’s birthday weekend with the boys. [People] — I feel kind of sorry for Jessica, but maybe she’ll get the ultimate revenge like she did with Nick Lachey.

  • Michael Jackson’s children reportedly want to stay with their aunt Janet Jackson. [OK! Magazine] — Although I doubt OK! had any real contact with the children, after watching Paris’ tearful tribute to her father I’m convinced Janet is the only other Jackson they’re close to.
  • Jon Gosselin returned to NYC without his 22-year-old girlfriend. [Us Weekly] — I know you haven’t seen the photo, but they just shouldn’t let tacky people like Jon shop at Gucci. It’s so wrong.