“NYC Prep” Recap: Boys And Bitches

This week on “NYC Prep,” the boys shop more than the girls, Sebastian gets shot down, and Camille and Jessi show (more) of their nasty sides.

At the heart of it all, those pesky “differences” between public school kids and private school weasels. Because, like, they’re practically different species, didn’t you know?

We begin with our favorite heartbreaker, the floppy-haired Sebastian, who is on his way to a concert of “private school bands” (oh God help us) at a place called “The Tank.” It would seem the The Tank is probably the basement of some C-list private school, that makes itself look like a cool nightclub. He’s on his way with his other flop-mop friend, Douchebag McMoney, who asks him about how things are going with the public school chick, Taylor. “Can you tell she’s from public school?” he asks. “Does she wear those Juicy sweaters?” Ooh, snap. When I was in private school, Juicy tracksuits were currency for popularity. Looks like they’re out with the rich kids and the poor ones are snapping them up at bargain basement chains for the masses. So what’s the deal with private school girls now? McMoney says at least they don’t want boyfriends because, they’re all, like, Jewish, and don’t care.

When Seb and McMoney arrive at The HoobasTank, Taylor is a cold, cold ice queen because she has fallen back in love with her ex, Cole. [That is SUCH a private school name, weird! -- Editor] Sebastian tries to win her over by dancing like a rabid dog with his tongue hanging out. The night comes to a head when Taylor flips him the cheek when he goes in for a kiss. You go Taylor…except you know this is only going to make him long for you more, right? They later decide that they’re not even friends, but “acquaintances.” Ooh, harsh. We hate to admit it, but we actually kinda feel bad for Mr. Floppy Hair.

Maybe Sebastian’s not all that bad? Last week, we met his dad who seemed to display his horrific parenting skills by essentially telling his son to party and have fun. This week, Parentdish.com caught an exclusive interview with him. And overall, Dad seems like he has a good, smart head on his shoulders. So, how does he feel about seeing his son on TV? “We enjoy seeing our son every moment of the day as he spreads his wings and takes flight. We love being part of his life and love our close relationship. Having him on TV is just one more way to enjoy his company when he’s not there.” Uh…okay, maybe not.

We then get more of a picture of Camille, who is clearly angling to be the token bitch. Her “bitch” quips are so transparent and calculated to sound icy, that they end up coming off as inane and….uh, sorry, I fell asleep for a second there. Cut to: a few gay shopping trips at vintage stores with PC and Dan, who got Camille to s**k his dick, or something.

The gang then heads to a dinner party and PC tags along because he wants to do a psychological analysis of everyone by pushing their buttons, to see how they are under pressure. What is this, an interview for NASA? Clearly, PC is drunk most of the time. His friend Kat asked him earlier, “Is that a bottle of vodka in your bag?” We like PC very, very much.

Oh wait, except for that he’s kind of lame because he later stands up his non-girlfriend, Jessi. And when they finally do meet up, he incurs her braying wrath of Satan as she spews, “WHEN I AM LATE, I CALL MY FRIENDS!!!” That moment alone just took years, years off our lives. There’s no recovery from the dark, dark place she took us to. Jessi and PC have a moment of showing off their apparent coolness in a stupid coffee shop chain, where they think they are such royalty that they’re going to take on Taylor as a charity project. Too bad they’re quickly losing cool points in the real world. Just last week, the duo tried to get into a Three-O Vodka party (like that sounds cool), and were turned away for being underage. The law triumphs! Let’s hope there are more stories of justice to be had in the news, and maybe, on next week’s episode. Not.

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