The Secret Code Of Sports Mistresses

According to CNN, 80 to 90 percent of the pro athletes out there cheat—the latest being murder-suicide victim, Steve McNair. Without getting into the whys — because the blow jobs are better, because it feeds the ego, because they are constantly on the road, because, well, they can — Lisa DePaulo is giving some insight into how these non-relationship relationships go down on The Daily Beast. It all has to do with the social rules almost every athlete and mistress follows — a code that McNair’s girl on the side (or one of them), didn’t adhere to, apparently. (If you remember, DePaulo has a bit of experience covering athletes and the lady-folk who follow them; she hung out with and wrote about a gaggle of NBA groupies during the All-Star weekend for GQ. Read it, if you haven’t already.) According to her, McNair and 20-year-old Sahel Kazemi weren’t playing by the rules…So, call me a terrible human being, but I don’t find the fact that a “code” exists totally objectionable—on the surface. I feel like in many of these relationships and marriages, no one is naive. A set of agreed upon constructs protects what most of these women want from the athlete—money. Back in 2003, Kobe’s wife didn’t leave him for one very big reason—well, two—money and that ginormous ring he put on her finger after his whole Colorado sexual assault charge and civil settlement.

When does this “code” creep into a bad-news territory? When the wife didn’t sign up for what amounts to an open marriage, or as in the McNair case, the mistress falls in love. Take, for example, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”‘s DeShawn Snow and her ex-NBA hubby Tony Snow. I find them so totally adorable—he treats her with love and respect and funds all of her charity-nights gone gonzo. If it were to come out that he cheats on her—and in no way am I saying that he does, I actually think he’s Mr. Committed—then I’m mad. I’m mad at the “code,” the blow-job giving groupies, the mistress. And here’s the rub: The rules DePaulo outlines make sense, but only when human emotion is left out of the equation. And as 20-year-old Sahel Kazemi fatally proved, that ain’t easy. [The Daily Beast]