It’s always been my understanding — from personal experience, friends’ experience and general popular culture — that most guys hate wearing condoms and if pregnancy and STDs weren’t a concern, they’d totally ditch the latex. But a recent letter to Time Out New York‘s sex columnist, Jamie Bufalino, has me scratching my head. Is it possible that some men actually LIKE wearing a condom? A reader writes…
I’m deep into a long-term relationship (married 11 years), and my guy wears a condom every time we have sex. He’s done this since almost the beginning, when I found out he had herpes. (Oh, and for the person who wrote in recently about this, yeah, he didn’t tell me at first either, and it wasn’t a deal breaker, thank God!) Anyway, the condom-wearing has been a nonissue in our relationship. But recently I’ve noticed that he seems to really like it. He waits for me to put it on, grinning, and gets even harder once it’s there. I’ve always assumed that all guys would rather go without. Even the government is now spending half a million dollars to find out why guys hate condoms! But here’s the thing: My last two monogamous boyfriends also wore condoms whenever we got it on. So my question is, is this normal? Three guys in committed relationships wearing condoms without a peep or complaint (and the third one loving it)? Could our sex culture have this one all wrong? I’m curious what you think about it.
I think our government sure knows how to waste money. I don’t need to spend half a million dollars to know why guys don’t like wearing condoms—it’s the decrease in pleasure, stupid. As for your ongoing research, I think your husband must be so psyched that you didn’t dump his ass when you found out he had herpes that the sight of you putting a condom on his dick probably sends him into paroxysms of pleasure. It also sounds like a ritual thing at this point, and sexual rituals are hot. I don’t know what was up with the other two dudes, but I do know that having sex (even with a condom) is better than not having sex, so maybe they just didn’t want to rock the boat. And although sex without a condom is better (let’s not kid ourselves), those little latex jobbers have contributed a lot more to sex than they’ve ever taken away, so we should give credit where it’s due.
So what do you guys think? Have you had sexual partners who seem to enjoy the condom experience? Do you think these dudes are just so happy to be having sex that, as Jamie says, they don’t want to rock the boat? Or is there a chance condoms are the newest fetishized trend?