Michael Jackson’s past was checkered, but as Movieline.com pointed out, his death created an even more public spectacle: people prostituting themselves on Craigslist for MJ memorial service tickets. Talk about “Dangerous!” Man, everyone is trying to get their piece in the King of Pop’s passing. And boy were they perverted about wanting someone to just beat it for them.
By our count, over the course of a couple days on the Los Angeles area boards, there were nearly two dozen solicitous headlines like “Cum To Michael Jackson With Me,” “Well Wack-Me Jack-Me And Call Me Daddy. I Have Tickets To MJ,” and “Trade Sex And You Go To The MJ Memorial With Me” with the bonus promise, “I’m not very picky, so don’t be shy.” Duh, you’re using Craiglist to find someone who will have sex with you to go to a funeral….but the titles are just the tip of the penis posts. Check out these gems:
- A 35-year-old from the San Gabriel Valley posted:
“You will be willing to join me Monday nite and be open to adult fun. Then join me on Tuesday morning to the Memorial Services at Staples Center. You must be outgoing and busty.”
Seriously, what could be more awkward than sexing some random dude and then going to a funeral with him right after?
- Although, you could avoid that if you just hook up in the parking lot like this 25-year-old guy suggests:
“I have an extra ticket for the Michael Jackson Memorial Service for tomorrow morning. I’m looking for a nice girl to go to the Staple Center tomorrow. But before heading there, I would like to have some fun at a motel or even on the car on our way there. So if you are a fan and open minded, let me know ASAP so we can set this up for tomorrow.”
“On the car,” that’s trashier than half the things that were printed about Michael!
- But dudes aren’t the only ones getting down and dirty. One girl begged for the chance to “see Michael off” she will do the double entendre version to you:
“I WILL DO ANYHING for you, I’m a hot looking girl, and I’m open to ANYTHING.”
Plus she also included the pic of a cute naked chick’s booty, but qualified, “That’s not me in the photo, but I look a lot like this.”
Sheesh, people grieve in strange ways. I wonder how many of these posts worked out? Still, with this kind of response, MJ’s death may take the title for weirdest wake. Maybe now the question is, who was more perverted: Michael Jackson or his fans? Yikes, as a fan, that’s a close call….