How To Really Meet A Woman

Julieanne Smolinski over at Lemondrop had the pleasure of attending a “Pick-Up Artist” seminar, in which poor saps shelled out nearly $3,000 to be educated by Love Systems Inc. (formerly known as the Mystery Method). The advice was pretty pathetic, and I’m about to save some schmucks a lot of money. One instructor suggested using one of the worst pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, er, read: Tell a woman you’ve been staring at her all night and were “just wondering if there was more there than meets the eye.” Well, yeah. Now he looks like that crazy guy all the women at the bar know to avoid. Then there was this gem: “I’m growing a mustache for Charity! Do you like it?” Thankfully, writes Julieanne, the accidental touching a girl and “insulting her to get her to shame-bang you” tactics that Mystery promoted have been abandoned.

Too bad the Love Systems guys didn’t remind the men that women are just people, and they really don’t need some secret code or formula to unlock her heart or just get her attention.

Women can detect game very easily, and while it shows you’ve made some effort, it makes her wonder about your playa status too. A simple “hello” or pleasant smile is enough to get any woman’s attention. (And buying her a drink doesn’t hurt either.) But you have to be sure to say hello to her face, not her butt or tits. Oh, and don’t leer at her lasciviously, and then say hello. This happens to me at least once a week, and I’m quite aware that the guy is thinking about effing me, not about the cool person I might be.

Once you’ve made your greeting, ask an open-ended question. People love to talk about themselves, and if she’s interested in you, she’ll ask you one. And then what do you know, you’re having a conversation. You’re almost at your goal — the first date! All you have to do is get her number or email. See how easy that was? And you didn’t even have to give me $3,000.