15 Things We’d Miss About Men
Ever since word got out earlier this week that scientists have figured out how to create synthetic sperm from embryonic stem cells, people have been fantasizing what a world without men might be like. I don’t get it — would synthetic sperm only create girl babies? And why would any of us want a world with no men anyway? Who would carry our heavy luggage up the stairs after getting home from a vacation? After the jump, 15 things we’d miss about men if they ever became extinct.
- Their 5 o’clock shadow.
- Intercourse and outercourse.
- How cute and vulnerable they look first thing in the morning.
- The way they reassure us we’re nothing like our mothers.
- Their ability to reach the high shelves at the grocery store.
- Taking it like a man when we have a PMS outburst.
- Their cute little nicknames for us.
- Reassuring us we’re nothing like the bitches their friends date.
- How well they lie about the size of our ass in our skinny jeans.
- How they always know where all the wires go.
- The way they look in a suit.
- How good they are at killing the bugs.
- And installing the AC window unit.
- The sound of their voice in the dark wishing us “good night.”
- The way they look holding a baby.