That’s Crappy: Woman Gives Birth In A Port-A-Potty

Most women like to rest right after giving birth, but after popping one out on July 4th in a Port-A-Potty, Maryland mama Candy Michelle Vignari walked right out and asked a nearby construction worker for a ciggie. That’s right. She gave birth in a Port-A-Potty. Left the baby inside. And then smoked a cigarette. She only revealed that her newborn was clogging up the toilet when a construction worker tried to get inside the portable pooper after noticing Candy covered in blood. The worker immediately called the police, and Candy was promptly arrested. Her baby was taken to where it should have been in the first place: the hospital. Candy was charged with child abuse and reckless endangerment. Luckily, her baby is in stable condition. [DListed]

While Candy is a moron who should never be around children, let alone have one, even loving mothers get stuck in weird places when it’s time to get birthing. Their stories, after the jump.

  • While a Port-A-Potty is one rank-nasty place to give birth, the subway platform in New York City isn’t much better. Bystanders on the F train platform in NYC last June quickly laid down clothes so pregnant woman Francine Alfontent could rest on the ground and give birth. Francine and her husband were on their way to the hospital when the time came. Luckily, one rider was a nurse who helped deliver Alfontent’s baby girl, Soleil. Paramedics rushed to the scene and joined the team effort. Alfontent and Soleil were taken to the hospital after the birth. Sheesh, I don’t even like that my shoes have to touch the subway floor, no less my vag and newborn baby. Someone better dip that kid in an industrial size vat of Purell. [MSNBC]
  • Usually pregnant mothers are sped off to the hospital when “it’s time,” but one Ann Arbor mama decided to wait for her mom and midwife before making the trip. Jennifer Coffman only made it as far as the front lawn. After her water broke in the shower, Jennifer knew she had to go, but once she got to the front lawn that baby was coming out. Thankfully her midwife and a neighbor/obstetrician were on hand to help birth her daughter Maeve. Talk about a lawn being “in bloom.” [Ann Arbor News]
  • This Washington mother was on the edge of her seat. Literally—she gave birth on the beltway on the way to Holy Cross Hospital in Washington D.C. Police met up with the mother and helped her finish the job. The mother and her baby girl were finally taken to the hospital in stable condition. Oddly enough, I was almost born on the highway too, but I made my appearance in the hospital lobby. [WJLA News]
  • It’s one thing to give birth in a toilet, it’s another to repeatedly try and flush away your baby. On a bathroom break from the drive-through window back in 2007, one McDonald’s employee discovered she hadn’t gained weight from chowing French Fries—she was having a baby. Not knowing what was under her in the toilet, the woman started flushing to take away the painful object. Paramedics arrived on the scene to cut what turned out to be a 2-pound premature baby’s umbilical cord and rush it to the hospital. The baby boy is in stable condition while his mother suffered pregnancy injuries. [KCTV5 News]
  • Flushing newborns seems like a popular post-birth reaction. Traveling on a train in Taiwan, a 36-year-old woman pushed a little too hard in the bathroom and suddenly gave birth on the toilet. The poor babe was stuck inside the toilet until a rescue crew could board at the next station an hour and half later. The crew had to cut the pipe to unplug the baby and immediately sent both mother and daughter to the hospital. [Weird Asia News]