The Things Men Will Do To Get Hard

Most women, at some point in their lives, have tried to get with a guy whose equipment didn’t work. And if she loved him, or even liked him enough to make another date, she probably didn’t take a sledge hammer to his ego. But that probably didn’t stop him from beating himself up and considering some drastic measures to make sure his Johnson stands at attention when desired. After the jump, the drastic things men will do to get and stay hard.

  • Four burglars broke into the Bayer AG headquarters in Germany recently. They didn’t steal the formula to popular medicines or expensive equipment. Instead, the gang took $6.9 million-worth of Levitra pills. As you probably know from all the annoying commercials, Levitra is a potency pill used by men to fight erectile dysfunction. The burglars got away with two barrels full of 320,000 pills. That’s a lot of erections! Bayer has offered a 20,000-euro reward for information leading to the arrest of the perpetrators or recovery of more than half of the stolen swag. The Levitra pills will probably be sold on the black market, but I bet one of the four experimented just a little. [Reuters]
  • Men in Malaysia could become the Levitra burglars’ first clients because they can no longer get their Viagra-laced coffee. Authorities from the Health Ministry recently raided a direct-selling company that was distributing sachets of a coffee-mixture that promised to “perk up” drinkers. The coffee contained sildenafil, more commonly known as Viagra. Viagra, like Levitra, should only be taken under doctor supervision. A spokesman for the ministry said the company used individuals to sell small quantities to avoid alerting authorities. [Impact Lab]
  • And to think, all these men needed to do was eat a bull penis to get hard. Well that’s according to an ancient Chinese belief, which claims the penis of a bull will boost a man’s blood flow and stamina for sex. The Chinese believe that what you eat is what you treat, so if a man eats an animal penis, then he is treating his own penis. As soon as the bull penis hits the tongue, the meat jump starts the brain and enhances the sexual urge, says one expert. Sounds easy enough, right? Well consider that if this ancient delicacy isn’t prepared properly, the result is a sinewy mix of tendons and meat. Yuck!