It’s been three summers now during which I’ve been single. And each time around May, I contemplate the “spring-summer” romance. Magic? Or tragic? Unfortunately for me, past summer hookups have been nothing short of tragedies. But perhaps this is because I haven’t gone about finding that summer fling in the right way. Probably because my perception of this type of relationship lives in a Sandals Resort commercial—a man with model good looks and I have sex in a tiki hut, make out in the surf à la “From Here to Eternity,” a vacation home in the Hamptons, meeting the parents, engagement, marriage…ahhh! You can see how I set myself up for disaster.
True, about two months ago I was still telling girlfriends, “I’m going to find my summer fling,” despite my clear inability to handle one. When no prospects presented themselves, I decided once and for all to get serious (it is JULY, after all). And by getting serious, I mean lowering expectations and setting out to find fun. Just fun, plain and simple. Here, my new tactics (which have so far yielded success) for finding your summer manfriend, pronto.
- Lower your standards. The guy in the Sandals Resort commercial doesn’t exist. In fact, that place is for married people, so he’s not even available. You’re not looking for love, so forget automatic dealbreakers like bad grammar, stupidity, being a Scientologist, or height. This will widely broaden your selection.
- Be resourceful. You likely already know a guy or two who is fling material. Consider going back to past hookups or guys you dated briefly (but not boyfriends).
- Forget the bar. Instead, find daytime parties (on weekends, usually). Outdoor concerts and events provide a much more convivial atmosphere: attendees aren’t restricted to a small space (and tend to wander about more) and cheap beer fuels buzzes that last for hours. Plus if there’s some type of opportunity for you to rock a bathing suit like clothing, you’re sure to get some more attention.
- Or don’t forget the bar. Just go alone. This way, you can easily advertise your single status, or strike up a conversation with a cute bartender who is hopefully single (c’mon, those guys usually are).
- Meet and greet. Take to Meetup.com to find singles events in your area. No, really. Singles events may be cheesy, but you can find some that may make the medicine go down, like an Ivy League group (meet alums from college?) or sports groups. Most are held at bars, so take a girlfriend, and if it’s not your cup of tea, just make like you were coming to the bar anyhow for a drink, and then be on your merry way. One friend recently had a lot of luck at a non-romantic Meetup for Europeans. “There were a lot of guys, and you know those Euros…they’re not afraid to ask you out,” she said.