Robert Pattinson Hates New York And His Wacko Fans

Good job, stupid Twilighters. Your insanity has made Robert Pattinson hate NYC and all its women. While shooting “Remember Me” in Manhattan, the heartthrob has been bombarded by desperate, love-starved tweens hoping to cop a feel. They are so bad that Pattinson’s “Remember Me” costars are worried. First there was that whole running-away-from-fans-and-getting-hit-by-a-cab incident. They also say he has lost a lot of weight and is miserable. He’s had to hotel hop so that his obnox fans won’t find out where he’s staying. R-Patz refuses to even look up any more for fear of egging on his wacko fans.One source said the “Twilight” star is, “embarrassed by the way girls throw themselves at him.” He can’t wait to get back to London where people are “cooler about the fame thing.” [NY Daily News]

Wait a second, us New Yorkers pride ourselves on ignoring celebs and letting them do their thing. Who are these girls, anyway, and what are they doing in this city where anonymity rules? I have walked by both Johnny Depp and Rihanna on the street here and both times I completely ignored them and so did every one else. London? Seriously, Robert? Everyone knows that NYC is the place to be, especially if you are rich and famous. Come back in a few months. I will have, err, disposed of all the annoying tweens who are haunting the streets and you can enjoy NYC at last. I’ll even take you back to my apartment show you around.

Dear Twilighters, watch out. You are giving NYC and women everywhere a bad name. I’m coming for you.