Oh No! It’s Baywatch, The Movie!

“Baywatch,” the long-dead TV show about, well, nothing, is taking its skimpy red bathing suits, busting out of hiding, and running (probably in slow motion) to the big screen. Jeremy Garelick, the dude who worked on “The Hangover,” is writing a “Baywatch” comedy that will feature two geeky lifeguards who try desperately to fit in with the beach beauties they work with. [Metro UK]

Our predictions for this new flick, after the jump.

  • David Hasselhoff will make an appearance and we will be kind of weirded out by his fake tan and hairy chest.
  • At least two thirds of the movie will feature busty lifeguards running in slow motion on the beach.
  • The jokes won’t be funny, but watching blonde bimbos and muscle men trying to act will be hilarious.
  • Eventually, one or both of the geeky men will lose their v-cards to one of the super sexy actresses and we will wince because the dudes will be so awkward. It will sort of be reminiscent of our first time, minus the red beach wear.
  • None of the actresses will have less than a D-cup, and the men will stuff their swimming trunks.
  • Remember those famous red one-piece bathing suits? Dunzo! We’d be willing to bet they’re going to be traded in for tiny string bikinis.

As always, we want your opinion!