Hey, Hollywood? I Want A Bachelorette Party Movie

I laughed so hard I cried this weekend, courtesy of “The Hangover.” (Did you see it? It was the blood brothers scene. OMG, so funny.) Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper are so hilarious as three friends who lose the groom-to-be during a wild bachelor party in Vegas.

Worth the $12 ticket, sure, but now I want to see a before-the-wedding “buddy flick” with women.

Yeah, we’re less likely to kidnap Mike Tyson’s pet tiger. (Yeah, that’s actually a plot point of “The Hangover.”) But it doesn’t mean we don’t party hard when one of our girls is getting hitched. Hollywood has a history of doing movies where brides-to-be and their friends look like bridezillas and obsessive wackjobs. But we’re real women. And we’re not all real crazy! And we want a movie about the female version of the wild bachelor/ette party antics.

I’ve made it easy on you, Hollywood: I’ve outlined my entire dream movie—director, plot, cast, soundtrack—for you, after the jump:
The Director: I know Diablo Cody has her hands full writing “Jennifer’s Body” and swimming in a pool of “Juno” residuals. But this project has her name all over it.

The Plot: “The Hangover” was a buddy flick about four guys at a bachelor party in Vegas, so of course one of them marries a prostitute. You could go that route, sure, but I was thinking you could also bust some gender stereotypes, too.

Maybe the bride-to-be has only slept with one or two people in her life and all night long, her girlfriends are trying to get her laid by just one more guy before she ties the knot. Surely if she’s having her bachelorette party in Vegas or NYC, she’ll run into some freak shows.

Oh and p.s. Just because it’s a bachelorette party flick doesn’t mean we have to have male strippers. Actually, I’d kindly ask you to make this a beefcake-free flick.

Better yet, let Dita Von Teese perform a striptease for the flick. Or a topless cameo by Ed Westwick would be just fine, thanks.

The Cast: Just say no to Kate Hudson! And I kindly ask you to keep Cameron Diaz far, far away, too.

I want it to be as raw and awkward as actual bachelorette parties are and I want it as dirty as the boy version, “The Hangover.” Mila Kunis from “That ’70s Show” and “Family Guy” is funny. Becki Newton from “Ugly Betty” is funny. Mindy Kaling would be awesome as the most annoying of the friends. I wouldn’t complain if Amy Sedaris or Sarah Silverman made cameos, but they’d just steal every scene if they were in the main cast.

Oh, there’s got to be a gay boyfriend, too. Hmm, maybe Rufus Wainwright can act?

The Soundtrack: Heavy on the OK Go, with a little Lily Allen and Kate Nash thrown in for good measure?

There you go—I spelled it all out for you. How long will I have to wait for this to be greenlighted?

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