Ask The Astrosexologist: We’re Perfect Together, But There’s No Sparks

I (5/10/85) have been dating my boyfriend (6/27/78) for about a year and a half now. Our relationship is the best I’ve ever been in. We hardly fight (and not because one of us is holding something back, we are just highly compatible) and we like a lot of the same things. Our feelings about family, religion, and relationships are also similar.

But after over a year of dating, my boyfriend has yet to tell me he loves me. I brought up the topic about three months ago and he said, “Do I need to spell it out? Don’t my actions show you how I feel?” (I’m the first girl he’s ever introduced to his family and all his friends.) Then he said he hasn’t said the “L” word because there’s something “missing” between us.I know what he means. From the beginning, there were no butterflies or the jitters. From the starts it’s been a calm and pleasant relationship, like we’d been dating for years. This absence of sparks made me wonder whether I loved this guy or if we were together because we enjoyed each other’s company and the sex? Now I’ve gotten to a point where I could say I love him, but I don’t know where he stands.

Are we meant to be just friends or can we sustain our romantic relationship? – DJ

The fact that he told you that he hasn’t said it because something is missing is answer enough. If you want him to come around and say he loves you, it seems like you will be waiting for a long time. Whatever he finds missing, that he hasn’t found in over a year, probably won’t appear miraculously further down the road. While Cancers are famous for not being the best communicators (and your man’s Mercury is also ruled by Cancer too), that is no excuse to be waiting around. You aren’t asking him to move a mountain, you are asking him a simple question and after a year an answer seems quite reasonable to expect.

Yes, you have all the qualities between you that make a relationship work, but without that emotional charge, it will eventually fall apart or just feel like you’re settling (if you stick it out). Regardless, this is the time to should consider what you really want and need. As a Taurus you tend to be overly patient and can resort to doormat tendencies in relationships, especially if you feel like you aren’t getting what you want back — this often can make Taurus women work harder to get what they want, but to no avail. Plus, you have an Aquarius moon, which means you do prize companionship in your relationships — however, without someone giving you the love you want back, what is the point? Don’t you deserve more?

If you are looking to feel the sparks, then you are going to have to get brave. This could mean calling a time out with your man, so he can have the space to sort out what he thinks is missing and for you to get back to you and sort out your own priorities — if it is indeed workable for you or if it’s time to take that leap of faith into the unknown. With that in mind, early August is your most intense upcoming time for romance and sudden opportunities may appear. How you want to face it, though, is totally in your hands.

Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email [email protected] and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query! For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!