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Jean Shorts Epidemic

Due to the fact that it is disgustingly hot and on the heels of the fourth of July, an epidemic of jean shorts has broken out. Now I realize there are some very cute jeans shorts women are sporting but that is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind of jean shorts my dad used to wear with his thick white socks rolled out of his sandals before my mother put that to a swift end. Personally I think they are just “meh” but walking around with one of my guy friends this weekend he quickly noticed and announced that “men who wear jean shorts are freaks. period.”. I would have let this go if I had not been accosted by a man wearing jean shorts trying to sell me snap and glow necklaces on the way to the Macy’s fireworks or one telling me my dress was contagious early in the morning. For some reason these jean short wearers are fans of bad combination of socks and shoes as well as wearing their Birkenstocks so long they either have holes where there should be toe support or smell really really bad. Unfortunately whether you are attractive or unattractive, the jean shorts have the power to make you that much more unattractive. In fact, why else would Bud Light release a Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor promo for their Real Men of Genius. The only thing that I would consider a step below the jean short on men is the snap off pant to short khaki quick change. After much discussion I have come to the conclusion that perhaps you are not a freak if you are simply too old to care about whether or not jean shorts are in fashion any longer or you are a small child so it is out of your control (my mother made me wear ruffle shirts, plaid skirts and matching mikey mouse suspenders with large bows in my hair). I really would rather not refer to anything anyone I know is wearing as a “jort”, yes, I was just informed their is even a term for this. Maybe I’ve been too easily converted to the jean short hating cult or maybe I have been unaware until now, what are your thoughts? [Jorts]

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