Every Sunday night, my girls and I go down to our local speakeasy bar and suck down cocktails prepared by our favorite bartender, Thomas. He’s a hot guy—tall with brown hair, blue eyes, a nice smile, ’30s style garb (complete with suspenders), and a big, fat, honking…mustache. This mustache has sparked a heated debate among the ladies. Half the group thinks it’s sexy; the other half wants to attack Thomas with a razor. ‘Stache style has ebbed and flowed over the years—there’s the crazy Salvador Dali waxed ‘stache of the ‘30s, the sexy ’70s ‘stache a la Burt Reynolds, and the ironic ‘stache of the last few years popularized by hipster boys. The question: Would you ever smooch a dude with a lip sweater? I say why the heck not, but apparently not everyone is so open-minded. Enter the St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute, the “freedom fighters working against the bias and stereotyping plaguing the Mustached American race.” Their mission is to promote the “growth, care, and culture of the mustache, and work to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all Mustached Americans alike.” Yes people…there’s finally a support group for mustached men. Wait…what is “flavor-savoring?”
AMI is serious about their mission—they recently got involved when a Texas high-school boy, Sebastian Pham, was sent home from school because his lip fur violated the school’s dress code. AMI rallied the community to have the school rule overturned.
Go ‘stache avengers! Maybe I’ll bring some AMI reps to the bar with me next Sunday to talk some sense into my ‘stache hating ladies. Are you a mustache discriminator? [Asylum.com]