How To Hook Up On The 4th Of July

What better way to celebrate liberty than by letting someone ring your bell? So, this 4th of July, you should assert your independence. Your bikini line is already in tip-top summer form. You have the next day off, so no worries about kicking him out. Plus, you owe birthday sex to your country. Here’s how to fly your flag and get a man to salute you.

  1. Sexy Civil Servant: Firefighters, policemen, life guards, they’re stuck working the crowd, so you’ll constantly be sauntering past men in uniform. Swoon! Why not show one of them just how much you appreciate their service?
  2. Red, White, Blue, And Showy: Strut around in an eye-catching and patriotic outfit. That does not mean you should bust out your puffy painted flag t-shirt — stick with something casual but sexy.
  3. The Fam: This isn’t Christmas or Yom Kippur so it’s not a traditional family holiday. Do not feel obligated to stick around your mom’s place. Grab a slice of flag cake and then….
  4. It’s Party Time: Go out! Don’t stay at that small backyard BBQ forever. Hit the big fireworks show and then head to a bar/club. People are out to party on a holiday night, especially when it falls on a weekend. Bonus!
  5. All Day Long: July 4th is all about America boozin’. So don’t go getting wasted during the daytime BBQ. If you’re gonna score, you’ve gotta be ready to party all night long. Get your drunk on after dark.