Why Do Good Friends Make Crappy Roommates?
Jimmy Fallon once joked about how choosing a friend as a roommate is never awesome:
“It doesn’t work out. You will fight each other––they have to much dirt on you. They’ll crush you in an argument for no reason. Like you’ll just say ‘Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for like two weeks and they’re your dishes. Are you gonna clean them or what?’ And they’ll say, ‘Yeah, remember when you had crabs in the sixth grade?’”
In the last month, I’ve learned that Fallon was so right.Occasionally it’s possible to hit the friend-roommate jackpot and actually find someone you enjoy hanging out and sharing a bathroom space with, but chances are your good friend is going to drive you up the walls in a small environment.
Here’s where my story comes in. Leading up to this summer, I had quite the semester. First I had a boyfriend, then he dumped me, then I got the majors sads, then I focused my negative energy towards how great the summer was going to be. My two major best-summer-ever plans included blogging for this here fabulous website and living with my close friend from school who had been abroad all semester. She likes doing all the same things as me (going the movies, concerts, eating yummy new foods, etc.) and we lived in a sorority house together once before, so there was no way this was going to be bad. Incorrect. Wrong. Totally FALSE.
Preface: Since my roommate was abroad and out of the loop on my life, before we moved in, I sent her a message telling her how much I needed a good friend this summer. She wrote a very comforting message back saying that we would be hanging out all the time. Pre-move in, all was well.
That has totally gone down the drain. In the 33 days since we’ve moved in together, she has basically used my place as her storage space since she never comes home, and when she does make an appearance, she always brings her boyfriend who makes me feel completely uncomfortable in my own apartment. So I did what normal friends do and I confronted her about it. When I told her I was sad that she was never around, her reaction was to be around…with the boyfriend. When I told her I didn’t like the boyfriend sleeping over, she just made pouty faces. Nothing really got solved.
By this point in the summer, I’ve gotten used to living on my own. And the greater portion of my lonesome time has been spent talking to friends and family about this crappy roommate situation. After being advised by everyone from my kindergarten best friend, to my sorority sisters, to my mom, the vote was to kick her out. And I did it this past weekend. Although she hasn’t moved out yet, I think it’s only a matter of days before she starts taking up residence at her boyfriend’s place (which I believe she should have done in the first place after I warned her pre-summer about my sadness, so I could have ensured having a real life friend around). I should be happy now, right? Wrong, again.
Here’s my major dilemma: As much as I feel like my roommate has been less than a friend to me this summer, prior to a month ago, I considered her one of the closest friends I had from school. And now after kicking her out, I feel TERRIBLE. Despite my mom saying over and over that if she were a real friend she never would have acted this way, I can’t help but feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. Even if her and her boyfriend canoodling on the couch next to me while I try to enjoy an episode of “Make It Or Break It” drives me insane, I can’t help but think that I have turned into the crappy roommate.
What do you think? Did I do the right thing or should I try to reconcile the situation before she’s out for good?