With the proliferation of MySpace and Facebook have come a slew of ridiculous pictures that chicks (usually obnoxious tweens) take so they can post them and show everyone that they are popular and hot. First, there was that one armed picture, usually taken while pouting or with mouth suggestively open. Then there was the peace sign pose, almost always taken with another girl. Bonus points if one or both girl’s tongues were sticking out. Next, came the sexy body picture taken by aiming a camera at your dirty bathroom mirror. When we thought it couldn’t get any worse, faux lesbian pics cropped up everywhere. And now, our worst nightmare has come to pass. The dreaded “boob circle” has hit Facebook photo albums across the globe. [COEDMagazine]
After the jump, a step by step guide to making your friends think u r omg soooo hawt with a boob circle photo! Follow these easy steps and you will have yourself the perfect boob circle:
- Spray yourself with fake tanner. You do not have time to get a real tan because you have parties to go to and boys to sleep with. Plus, your parents are making you come home at 10pm.
- Put on the most padded, push-up bra you can find. If you don’t have one, borrow your mom’s and stuff it.
- Find your lowest cut shirt. Make sure the material is thin and cheap. If it’s a tank top or a spaghetti strap, all the better. If your midriff is showing, you have reached perfection. Put a hoodie on, so that when your parents drive you to the party they don’t notice how you are dressed.
- When you get to the party greet your friends with partial sentences like “sup?” and “omg!”
- Have a few of the cheap, canned beers that your friend stole from her parent’s basement. When the boys (omgomg!) start to show up, pretend to be drunker than your really are and get touchy feely with the girls.
- At the opportune time—that is, when all the boys are watching—find four other girls with big boobs and low-cut shirts.
- Stand in a close circle. Now, pull down your shirts and push up your boobies.
- Have a flat-chested friend stand above you with a camera.
- Look up and make a face. You have a few choices. You can make an omg-I’m-having-so-much-fun-face or you can do a sexy pout. If your tounge is pierced, stick it out. If these poses are too complicated, go for a simple kiss face.
- Make your friend take a few so you can try out different faces to maximize your hottness.
- The very next morning, after your mom has made you breakfast and you’ve done the dishes, put your “boob circle” picture up on the social networking site of your choice. Make sure you tag everyone in it and put a few words underneath it so everyone knows how awesome you are. Something like “sooo hotttt” usually does the trick.
Good luck and happy boob circles!