- Go to yoga three days a week: No. Have not been doing this. However, this is a reminder that I really SHOULD be going, so, check back with me in six months.
- Introduce myself to new music: I have definitely kept up with this one. In the last six months I have discovered I love Kid Cudi, Jeremih, St Vincent, Drake, and The Dodos, to name just a few.
- Curb bad behaviors: I’m sorry, I’m too hungover for this question.
- No more BJs: In the last six months I can count the number of BJs I’ve given on one hand and they were with one partner. Progress, peoples!
- Discover a new hobby: Does bike riding count?
This year I had lofty ambitions: get flexible enough to do a split, buy flowers every week, wear silver not just gold, hone my inner bitch, and my personal favorite— screw a fantasy man. How am I doing? Well, I’ve been stretching, but not regularly and I’m still worried I’ll pull my crotch if I attempt a split, so that’s a big fail. And every time I try to act bitch-tastic, I just come off sounding dumb and whiny, which isn’t going to help me get laid. Fail #2. But, this year I finally fulfilled a sexual fantasy and celebrated Fleet Week with a Naval officer, who was also an MP. That means that not only did I do a muscle bound military man (hot) but he was also a cop (double hot) and the sex was sexy (triple hot). I have also managed to buy flowers almost every week and incorporate silver jewelry into my wardrobe. In fact, this year alone I’ve bought three silver necklaces, two bracelets and a ring. So, suck it, resolutions! Score: Simcha 3, New Year’s Drunken Big Ideas, 2. Not bad, considering I’m a procrastinating slacker chockfull of bad habits.
- Learn how to cook at least one new dish every month: After making some strange green soup in January that I never actually ate because it looked so nasty, I wasn’t inclined to have another go at it in the kitchen. But last month I learned how to grill asparagus, so I am going to get back on track. Next up: grilled pizza and seitan tacos.
- Learn how to edit video: Done and done. I can now splice clips together in iMovie. But there’s always room for improvement.
- Do some sort of good in the world: I was going to start volunteering, and I haven’t. I’m a terrible person.
- Write letters to my grandmother at least once a month: I have sent my grandma a few handwritten notes, but I’m never sure whether she has gotten them since she doesn’t write back. So now I’m writing and calling. She loved hearing the story about how Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban sat behind me at a Broadway show.
How are you doing on your resolutions?