You + Me = Us, Dating Height Calculus

Yesterday I wrote Advice For The Vertically Challenged and was surprised by some of the comments. Many quite fairly pointed out that perhaps my definition of “short” should be revised, or that I should be clear that just because I feel short at 5′ 5″ does not make this height or anything bellow it qualify as “short.” What really struck a chord with me, however, were comments concerning height differences when it comes to dating. I started thinking about my own reasons for feeling short and realized that it was mostly due to the fact that most of the men I have dated have been at least six feet tall. Hmmm, I wonder… Do I feel short because boyfriends have always told me I am? Yes, but let me be very clear, they have only done so in a positive way. Tall boyfriends thought my height was adorable and loved to pick me up. One guy did say I looked like a circus freak, but then again he also said I looked like Rob Reiner, so I think I should put the height comment into perspective. All in all though, guys have never seen the 6+ inch difference in height as a problem. In truth, I am not really bothered by the height difference and even use it to play up the cuteness factor, so why the height complex? My boyfriend didn’t even notice how much shorter I was until I brought it up and now he thinks it’s hilarious. So, why am I insecure about my height when I am average sized for most girls and guys don’t mind the difference?

If anyone can figure out why attractive women sometimes feel insecure, then that person deserves a medal. I doubt I will be able to untangle the complex layers of self-doubt in one post, but at least I can look at three common height and dating related problems. I am going to refrain from commenting or defining what makes someone short, average or tall and instead address feelings about height and dating. Since I obviously have my own height issues to contemplate I am only going to give practical suggestions should you feel uncomfortable with the height difference between you and a dude or if you are having back/neck pain from constantly bending or stretching.

  • The Girl Is Shorter Than The Guy: This group tends to avoid social stigma and stares as it is generally accepted that girls are shorter than guys. I doubt anyone will blink at a difference of a few inches, and if the difference is more pronounced, people still probably won’t think twice. I find that the real complication for gals residing in this category is in walking. Girls complain about not being able to reach up and kiss a guy, but darling, that’s what heels and couches are for. Modern technology and a park bench will give you the temporary boost for serious lip-locking. If anything you can legitimately bug your guy to start working out so he can buff up his arms and lift you while he kisses you. Muscles and smooching! But as I was saying, the real trouble with the height difference is that taller guys tend to walk faster than shorter girls. This gets really annoying when you are attempting a romantic stroll and I am sweating like a pig after two blocks. Maybe men’s legs are longer or men just have less patience and are in such a darn rush to get everywhere. I have somewhat successfully dealt with this by pointing the speeding out, and if the guy still insists on “jogging”, I launch myself at him and climb on his back while loudly demanding a piggy ride. Works like a charm.
  • The Girl And The Guy Are The Same Height: Congrats! You can walk at a sane pace and kiss with ease. If you want to wear heels you are going to be a bit taller, but the difference probably won’t even be noticeable if you are wearing heels under three inches. If you are a high-heeled woman, and I most certainly am, then you just need to accept that you will be noticeably taller than your dude. If you are really worried about it and he has long hair, you can always pull out the hair gel and spike his strands up a bit, but you will need a tub of gel and you will probably need to physically restrain him to get him to sit still long enough. Yeah, this not your best bet. I doubt anyone will really register a height difference since tall gals with short dudes are pretty common these days, and your man probably won’t even notice because men tend to be oblivious to small changes in appearance.
  • The Tall Girl And The Short Guy: While this category may have historically been sniggered at, I think it’s now a hot trend. If a guy couldn’t care less that his gal is taller than him, chances are he won’t be intimidated if she is big in other areas, like her career. A man who doesn’t need to prove his manliness with size (where ever that may be) is a guy who is self assured and won’t need to pull you down to bring himself up. Tall girls have it a bit harder because nothing will make them shorter, and short guys however confident they may be probably don;t feel like rocking the ABBA-esque man platforms. Amazons, rejoice in your height, knowledge of knowing before anyone else that it’s raining and your sheer physical ability to wipe out anyone who has a catty remark.